I am sure there are as many answers to this question as there are individuals who are drawn to Victorian Goth, either as participants/afficianados or as observers. There is a blend of the beauty, tradition and refinement of the Victorian Era that mixes beautifully with all things black (fabric, wrought iron, lace, woodwork, music).
Many outside the gothic subculture often think of the darkened streets of London, Brussels, Paris, Budapest and other ancient, worldly locales, thanks to writers such as Bram Stoker, and his wonderfully dark, mysterious and tragically-romantic anti-hero, Vlad Dracula. There are many examples of the duality of refinement with a subtly-concealed carnal side. There is an unspoken power in the type of self-knowledge it takes to portray a civilized, polite and charismatic side to the world, not having to tell anyone of the potential passion and abandon just waiting to be released.
In nearly every conversation that has been brought up to me about this topic, the key factor is that one "knows" the danger that lies beneath and they adore and respect the confidence that allows for the polite, sincere and dignified face that the rest of the world sees. It makes the "hidden" all the more valuable because it is reserved only for those "worthy" of witnessing and enjoying it.
It has also been my experience that those who are moths to the Victorian and Gothic Victorian flames are individuals with a highly creative nature, who meet the world on their terms and evoke a similar degree of civility and ease from those with whom they interact. Observe little girls who dress up for afternoon tea. Their mannerisms become more refined. The same goes for adults in any situation where particular care is taken regarding their appearance, their environment and their sense of self-respect.
In the distant past, I had the pleasure of planning midnight tea parties. Attendees were required to wear their best garden party hat (black, naturally, with all manner of jewel-toned accents) and dresses appropriate to the occasion. Many of the ladies found themselves feeling and behaving very differently, and loving it. This is much of the appeal, again as participants/afficianados, and delightedly so, for observers. Once they get past the initial looks of disbelief, fascination sets in.
Yes, this is a topic I could go on about for hours..but I wont. However, I will gladly discuss it at any time with anyone, should they wish. It seems to be one of THE most popular things to come up recently. To say I am glad would be an understatement.
If you are here, and you are taking the time to read this post, my guess (and hope) is that it resonates with you to some degree. Welcome, and let's chat.