Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Purposeful Expression & A Challenge

When I was first approached to create this blog, as I think I may have mentioned in a
earlier post, I was also asked to consider "darkling debutante" coaching. It's still
an idea I like, though it depends greatly on the demand for such a thing. A few who
had asked about "old world" etiquette and practices, asked me what they could do to
get into the mindset.

Grammar for Victorian Goths and Everyone Else

I know this seems a rather old fashioned and preachy subject, and I suppose it is. So
then why write about it? We live in an age of instant and impersonal communication,
without a lot of real connection. We are able to text message, instant message, voice
message, leave blog comments and "like" on sites like Facebook to signal our
agreement with a statement, a video, a quote or any limited entry shared by another
individual. Our language has turned to one of hip slang and abbreviations to match
our insanely fast-paced world and even faster-paced lives. The irony, even those
without fast-paced lives, speak, type and act as if they do through abbreviated notes
and responses. We find our ability to reach out, share information and emote now
limited to characters rather than words, with the king of hit-and-run one-way
communication being Twitter.

"Bitch" Is Never a Compliment

Let's see, how does the t-shirt/bumper sticker/profile picture usually read?
"Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Hot/Hell of a Woman/etc." I think I have seen this
phrase for at least the last two decades, though I'm sure it's quite a bit older than
that. Pretty long-lasting defense mechanism.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Doing The Right Thing

Ever notice how we are pummeled daily with public service messages, advertisements and promotions to "live green", give to what seems a million different non-profit charities and volunteer? The outcome is good, people are receiving help, illnesses are being researched and potential cures are being identified and I hear the Earth is in less danger than before (if it doesn't erradicate us first). The intention, however, has made me ponder that old addage about The Road to Hell and the cobblestones with which it is paved.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

A Prude? Me?

I was prompted to write this in response to a recent question from someone who may not know me as well as they had assumed, and that's quite fine. We all make mistakes. :)

Saturday, May 14, 2011


Per the Oxford dictionary, self-respect is defined as a noun: pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity. It is quite literally the consistent act of treating oneself with respect. Many these days use the term "self-respect" interchangably with "self-esteem" and while the two are quite obviously connected on many levels, they are not, nor ever have been the same thing.

Friday, May 13, 2011


I felt compelled to write this piece after observing years of constant drama and listening to the frustrations, concerns, and yes, petty comments voiced by countless members of the scene who have watched their groups of close friends and confidantes dwindle down to nearly nothing.

What is the Appeal?

I am sure there are as many answers to this question as there are individuals who are drawn to Victorian Goth, either as participants/afficianados or as observers. There is a blend of the beauty, tradition and refinement of the Victorian Era that mixes beautifully with all things black (fabric, wrought iron, lace, woodwork, music).

Never Assume

(This was originally posted to my main site in February 2011, but it seems to fit so well, I've included it here.)

Never Assume

That silence:
  • is agreement
    • or worse, acquiescence
  • is ignorance
  • is indifference
  • signifies that something is wrong
  • means you have won the argument...
That a smile:
  • can only have one meaning
  • is insignificant
  • is unwarranted
  • is powerless
That speaking loudly:
  • puts you in control
  • conveys confidence
    • or passion
  • makes you sound knowledgeable
  • creates a commanding presence
  • ensures that those around you are listening
That being polite:
  • is ever a sign of weakness
  • is a result of intimidation
  • is outdated
  • has no place in some situations
That respect:
  • is less important than being liked
    • or even the same as...
  • does not need to be earned
  • does not begin with Self
  • is conditional
Never underestimate the power of good manners, quiet contemplation, subtle strength, self-respect, humility and a demure presence. If you are going to put all your cards on the table, be prepared to have them played.
~Raven Sexton~

And so it begins...

While this blog currently has no "formal" introduction, at least for now, suffice it to say, I began writing in response to a resurgence in conversations expressing a longing for more of the romantic, refined Victorian Noir side of the Gothic scene. One of the many reasons why I have always adored the scene is the wonderous variety. In a world that has become perilously homogenized, what was once considered an underground culture has seen itself be more widely introduced to the mainstream, receiving every type of reaction from wide-eyed fascination to sneers. But then this is common of any "subculture" that stands out in any way from the safely-play "norms" of society.
But I digress. This particular blog is not about the trials and tribulations of the overall Dark Culture. I will save most of that for my primary site (StoneAngelsGaze.com) and will, over time address many things there. At times the topics here may well touch on much of the same as it affects my own black lacey corner of the culture.
In response to many requests (including some from a few of my "fairy gothchildren"), I will attempt to document the outcomes of many conversations about the many aspects of the Victorian Gothic Aesthetic from clothing and mindset to etiquette with possible write-ups about the many vendors, performers and events that showcase this part of Gothic culture.
I hope you enjoy the site, and I look forward to any and all comments and hope to eventually feature contributing writers.