Friday, May 13, 2011


I felt compelled to write this piece after observing years of constant drama and listening to the frustrations, concerns, and yes, petty comments voiced by countless members of the scene who have watched their groups of close friends and confidantes dwindle down to nearly nothing.
There is a vicious cycle that begins when people find it more important to be popular than to be respected. Highschool doesn't always end in high school and friendships and relationships are on-again, off-again on a nearly weekly basis, if not more frequently. The cause is this: Many people have lost sight of the value of sincerity, giving over, instead to a passive-aggressive practice of "making nice" when it serves their purposes and throwing pouting tantrums when attention spans are minimal. I have lost count of the saccharin "Hello" and "I've missed you!" sessions, immediately followed by rants of mistrust once out of earshot.
Human nature is a funny thing. For the most part, people do not like confrontation or awkward situations, so they will take "polite" several steps too far, putting on a show of grand friendship, not realizing how transparent their insincerity is to those around them.
Many have told me "Sometimes a little white lie is important, to keep the peace." This statement is usually so far out of context that it makes me chuckle. White lies usually involve an unfortunate blemish that looks worse than let on, a hem that could stand to be a few inches lower or the fact that a bustle really doesn't make one's backside look fat ("Bustles are MEANT to accentuate the bum.") Attempting to out-act The Royal Shakespeare Company, delivering monologues of "sworn friendship" and how "gorgeous" someone looks that particular evening is out and out lying, an act of pure insincerity, and guaranteed, everyone within ear shot can see it.
This type of "making nice" only goes to create and foster a reputation as a phony, a liar, a manipulator, or as I have often heard said "A nice guy/girl... but no one I'd trust." Now there are many individuals who are known for being blunt (yours truly, included), but who also choose their situations, as well as their battles wisely. They stand by their opinions without feeling the need to force-feed them to everyone else. The old addage "Discretion is the better part of valour" is more than a pretty saying. For those who live it, they are able to maneuver their way through the sticky situations, without compromising their integrity. If pushed, they are honest, some more diplomatically than others, but in the end, no one can say they were ever dishonest. Many very openly respect the honesty and find a certain security in always knowing exactly where they stand.
Many say "I would rather be disliked and respected than liked and tolerated" but when the moment of truth comes, which direction will you go?

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