Etiquette and the Victorian Gothic Aesthetic

Fun Finds - A Gothic Wedding

2012-02-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I visited this site, but after a few conversations with a dear friend who is planning her own period wedding, I hunted down the link and found something I just had to share here. Over the years I have had the honour of officiating, planning and writing vows for non-traditional weddings from Renn Faire themed unions to garden handfastings and Victorian soirees.
I do not do traditional weddings because I find more inspiration and satisfaction in bringing out the unique qualities of a couple: their quirks, their passions, the odd little things that sparked the fire between them, and then bringing those they love into their unique fold for that one day that celebrates them, and only them.

That said, it is with giddy joy that I share a site I already love for it's ideas and showcase of uniquely beautiful weddings. I hope you will enjoy, too. I now give you the wedding of Tanya & Ross, a lovely couple from Australia.

http://offbeatbride.com/2012/02/australia-gothic-wedding

Keeping it Romantic,

Raven

"Hopeless" Romantic?

2012-02-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

I have always been puzzled by the phrase "hopeless romantic." For as long as I can
remember, this phrase is usually punctuated by a wistful sigh, an almost pitiful
drooping of the brows; an expression somewhere between pity and total resignation. It
is as if one cannot self-identify as a hopeless romantic without putting melodramatic
emphasis on the "hopeless" part.

So, being me, I had to overanalyze it and came to two possible conclusions:

1) A romantic is automatically consumed by a state of hopelessness in that try as
they may, they cannot become so cynical and unbelieving as to completely give up on
the idea of romance. In that case, wouldn't the proper phrasing be "HopelessLY
Romantic", and therefore creating a description rather than a title?

or:
2) The phrase is simply unforgivably poor grammar. If one is a romantic, that means
they cannot, or will not give up on the concept that romance is alive, well or not,
and exists somewhere, anywhere, even if not in their own life at that moment. In this
case, it is more appropriate to refer to them as a "Hopeful Romantic". Ok, now you
may throw stones. I realize that a "hopeful" romantic is less wistfully sigh-worthy
and sounds just a tad Pollyannic, but is that not the point? Romantics do not give
up, either out of sheer will, or it is simply something in their personality or
possibly even their genetic makeup.

And now a word of warning. Never EVER confuse a hopeless romantic with an individual who sits staring out a window, sighing over their FB page, or crying in their frou-frou drink at the club, whining "I love too deeply" followed by choruses of how much they've given, and how everyone takes advantage...but they're not giving up. This individual is simply either just two short steps from becoming a stalker at the next "Hello" or an attention-seeker with the skill to draw on the sympathies of anyone who will listen, rejecting every line of encouragement and undermining every positive observation. Add the line "No one gets me" and you may have crossed into the land of Emo (individual cases may vary).

The hopeless/hopefull romantic is genuinely happy for their coupled friends. They see
romance as more than pairing up, flowers and chocolates. They are the dreamy-gazed,
introspective flower-sniffer, flocked wallpaper groper, moderately optimistic
individual with half a smile and (usually) a healthy dose of reality. They have had
more than their share of knives to the heart, toxic friendships and failed
flirtations, but for all the brilliant sarcasm and cynicism they may genuinely embody
toward many parts of life, they see it as utterly foolish to give up on the idea that
love exists. They do not sneer and spit on the ground when a happy couple walks by
and they do not whine "That should be me." On some level, they know that sooner or
later, it will be. BUT, they do not put the rest of life on hold until then.

The true romantic sees beauty in even the strangest places. They see romance as more
than affection. It is that slightest whiff of an intoxicating scent, the feel of the
velvet of a rose, the warmth of the sun mixed with the chill of a breeze against
their cheek on a winter day, and the strains of a violin that tug at the heart and
the glow of the day's last rays of sun.

No wonder nearly everyone I have met who identifies with "Victorian Goth" is also
referred to as a Hopeless Romantic. They (ok, We) are the diehards who are just as
comfortable in our twisted gallows humour, our brilliant funeral attire (for everyday
wear) and our subtle sarcasm as we are firm in the knowledge that romance is a
philosophy and a molecule of refined existence that weaves its way through every
aspect of life and everyday objects just enough to make their colour richer, their
flavour sweeter, their scent more mesmerizing, and life a great deal deeper than can
be imagined by the usual person on the street.

And with that, I wish you all a marvelous evening.

Keep it Spooky, Decadent, and above all, Infuse the Mood with Romance every chance
you get.

Cheers,
Raven

Being True to Oneself

2012-01-22T20:22:00.000-07:00

Being true to oneself and being honest with oneself are different things, but these
practices do go hand-in-hand. Neither is an excuse for false modesty, self-effacing
behaviour or giving up. Quite the opposite, if one is truly being honest with the
person in the mirror and being true to that same individual, these negative
behaviours would never be a conceivable possibility. The cost to their self-respect
and conscience would be too much.

Allow me to explain. When most people hear the phrases "Be true to yourself" and "Be
honest with yourself" their initial reaction is one of fleeting panic, a wince and a
plethora of negative imagery as they interpret these things to involve some karmic
reckoning that demolishes the individual like an old building in order to be rebuilt
as something shiny, new and better. In all honesty, this idea makes me groan, and
that is not easy to do. At some point, human beings bought into the idea that all the
"good" they see in themselves is some delusion and they owe penance for it. Boooo.
Not true. Our collective belief is that if we believe the good about ourselves and
share that feeling, it is bragging. Going around telling anyone who will listen? Yes,
that does fall into the bragging needlessly category, because the knowledge of one's
best qualities is for that person alone, and by living those traits, others will
quickly learn about it on their own. We should share good news, and live our good
traits.
So what does it mean to be honest with yourself? Quite simply, it means looking at
the individual in the mirror and facing the fact that we all have done things we are
not particularly proud of, but they are a part of who we are now. Own them, learn
from the experience and if one knows they could have done better, then DO better. It
also means acknowledging and owning all the accomplishments, the aspirations, dreams
and shining qualities of the face in the mirror. It means learning to be completely
at ease with self-affirmation and one's own company. Eventually, it reaches the point
where the kind words, compliments and affirmations from others are music to the ears,
but are not necessary to owning the realization that there is a good person on both
sides of the looking glass. The kind words of others become inspiration rather than
sustenance. They spur us forward to continue with our good acts, with following our
dreams and our passions, but they are not so much the fuel as they are the occasional
mile or two of smooth sailing, the break in the storm before the next big wave. Keep
in mind, it is the storm and riding those huge waves that make the journey SO
exciting, and so much more rewarding at its conclusion.
Being true to oneself is quite simply living the Truth that has been realized through
the honest talks with the mirror. The beauty of being human is that each person is an
individual universe with his or her own library of experiences, lessons, likes and
dislikes. It is one thing to dress or behave a certain way to fit in with others, it
is another to do these things because it "feels right" and then find that there are
others with very similar tastes. Being true to oneself is not about acceptance, nor
is it about proving how different one is. Like being honest with oneself, it is about
that head-shaking, smiling, wincing face in the mirror. Being true to oneself is also
not about shoving one's "Truth" in everyone else's faces, demanding acceptance. The
act of being true is wholly self-induced, self-enacted and self-sustaining. For these
reasons, the idea of needing others' approval becomes ludicrous, as does the urge to
be disrespectful to others who do not walk the same road, or whose roads seem "bland"
or less than one's own. The world needs its middle-of-the-road individuals just as
much as it requires those from each end of the spectrum. It is called "perspective"
and serves as a point of reference.
So what does this have to do with etiquette or Victorian Gothic lifestyles? If you
have been reading any of the above, that connection becomes quite obvious. Victorian
Goths come in all shapes, sizes and degrees. Some bear themselves out into the world
in gorgeous brocades, frills and laces, turning heads with every step. Others bear
subtle signs: chokers rather than necklaces, ornate crosses, Victorianesque articles
of clothing along with more mainstream pieces, etc. Each is true to themselves, both
in their style and the level to which they choose to take it. One is not "less" a
Victorian Goth simply because they wear a watch rather than carrying a pocketwatch,
because they wear jeans and black boots with a frilly shirt rather than the full
skirt, bustle, corset and parasol, or because they choose to don their Victorianesque
wardrobe only for special occasions. The same is true for any subculture, and it is
very easy to tell those who are also true to themselves. As opposed to the sneers,
odd looks or indignant sniffs some might expect for more subtle dress, there may be a
subtle smile or a nod of recognition. In many cases, a conversation is begun with a
raised eyebrow and look of interest followed by "Where did you get that..(insert
accessory here)?
It takes more than a bit to be true to oneself when it comes to such outward traits
as a very recognizable habit of dress, but it is well worth it. And it has been my
experience that it is a wonderful tool for recognizing those who are true to
themselves as well. Some of the best friends and acquaintances come from
acknowledging another's self-honesty and self-respect, living one's own, and letting

lesson, as you have learned your own.
Now that I have rambled on, primarily because the topic is one near and dear to me, I
am off to work on some lighter pieces, getting back to showcasing the beauty, grace
and brilliance that is our Decadently Dark and Delightful corner of the world.
Keep it Spooky; Keep it Real.
Til next,
Raven

Happy 100th Birthday Mr. Charles Addams

2012-01-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

Who better (aside from Poe) presents us with a wealth of imagery and dark humour befitting the Victorian Goth set than Charles Addams? His iconic family is deeply beloved, and has been the inspiration for many a Victorian Goth's home decor as well as providing the template for the perfect loving couple, totally absorbed with one another, doting on their children, loving toward their family members and compassionate (in their own way) toward everyone else who wanders into their brilliantly twisted lives.

Please join me in celebrating the 100th birthday of a man who has brought us dark joy, twisted laughs and inspired television series, films and now, a Broadway musical. Take a moment of silence, play a bit of harpsichord and snap your fingers in memory of Charles (Chas.) Addams.

Keeping it Spooky =)

Raven

A Letter to 2011

2011-12-31T12:57:00.002-07:00

Dear 2011,
Thank you kindly for reminding me that every loss from 1 January to 31 December meant I had something and someone to hold dear in the first place; sometimes those things and people others have not. Thank you for reminding me that whilst I am going 90 mph to get things done, that at that speed I can still enjoy the wind in my hair and on my face. Thank you for the moments when I came to a complete halt with fatique, a roadblock or a moment of confusion, so that I may notice some small thing that inspired flowing words and a full heart. Thank you deeply for providing the safety of shadows for my dearest, darkest facets, a bit of light for a blossoming idea, and countless new voices to join in the chorus of many others in my life who have given me much to think about, nudged me past my own self-imposed limitations aend annoyed me so thoroughly that I walked 'round them to reach the next goal.
I will mourn your passing in many ways as I look to 2012 as a new beginning and the repository for so many wonderful (and painfully instructive) bits of insight, knowledge and questions.
Vaya con Dios,
R. Sexton
Ruthlessly Verbose Hopeless Romantic, Incurable Sentimentalist and Unapologetic Cynic

Happy Holidays and a Huge Thank You

2011-12-25T09:02:00.002-07:00

I just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a Very Happy Holiday Season. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, a Blessed Yule and though a few days late... a Bright and Insightful Solstice. No matter which holiday you celebrate, make it yours, enjoy old traditions and invent a few new ones. And I wish you all the best as we close in on a new year.

As I write this, I look back at 2011 and smile as I ponder the fact that this year did not begin with plans for a Victorian Gothic blog, and as it began to take shape in late May, I still had no idea the reactions and encouragement that would accompany it through its growth. My deepest thanks to you all.

An apology is owed, however, as I was unable to fulfill my original plan for 13 Days of Christmas this month due to family obligations and other occurences, however, the idea has sparked a project I take very seriously and plan to do much more with before the 2012 Holiday Season. The EVGA blog, as always, will continue to grow and I will continue to enjoy hearing your feedback and taking topic cues from the many fabulous conversations that arise from discussions ranging from Victoriana to the charm of haunted old houses and the beauty of old school etiquette to the basics of true self-realization, self-respect and realizing one's shining potential.

I am gleefully returning to searching for Victorian Gothic artists and events to feature on the site, and have considered moving into also featuring music, books and film that epitomize and shed a warm glow or spooky light on our Genre. 2012 promises to be a very busy, very stylish, and very "ooooh" inspiring year, and I feel like a kid in a candy store. I hope you will continue to share the journey with me.

Many, many Blessings to All.
Keep it Spooky and always wear your best top hat and/or lace,

Raven Sexton

Haunted Victorianesque Christmas - Reminiscing Wall

2011-12-15T19:03:00.002-07:00

I had begun a separate post regarding gift wrap, then this one insisted on being finished and shared. Every year I listen as friends, family and even acquaintances approach Thanksgiving with an almost tentative excitement, as the hustle and bustle of the Holiday Season kicks into high gear. Most of us immediately think "But of course, it is overcommercialized and the stress is over the top," but this is not the real reason for the holiday angst. As I am certain anyone reading this post can attest, the real reason for the slight sinking feeling and the momentary angst is the realization that all of the lovely memories of Christmas past include the pang of grief and emptiness that comes with knowing who will not be there for the festivities. I have lost count over the years of the times I have been told "I hate the holidays. It just depresses me because I miss them so much." Well, I am a firm believer that no one truly "hates" the holidays, they simply feel more keenly the pain of having lost someone who is usually the foundation of their Christmas and other Holiday traditions, and whose face is indelibly etched in all the best memories.

It is my strong opinion that they would never want any of us to suffer through the holidays simply because they have passed on. They did not impart their traditions and their love of the season to us simply to have us mourn and grow bitter against a time of close family time, a reunion of friends, and a chance to see the warmest glow during the darkest season of the year. So, much like the homage we discussed for Hallowe'en, it is important to bring them to attend the Holidays with us; to honour them as the founders of tradition, the subjects of the best (and often most embarassing) stories, and the gift-givers who first introduced us to the magic of the season.

The best part is that it takes very little crafting skill, a good thing for me, and is completely personal. For anyone who was around for the Victorianesque Hallowe'en posts, this may sound a bit familiar. We are going to set aside a spot in our haunted Victorianesque Christmassy home to welcome back and pay tribute to those loved ones who set the stage. This time, however, we are not creating an altar with candles and momentos.

Think about what you and your loved ones do each year when you get together at the holidays. At least once in every gathering, a conversation begins with "Remember that time...?" That is what will make this so special. Only you can tell those stories. They cannot be extracted by some Hallmark card writer or even the handiest psychic. And this is how you can do it.

The Reminiscing Wall is a wall in the home, hung with a banner or a collection of photos of those who have passed, each accompanied by a single journal entry, handwritten by you, with a personal story, a memory that is often shared with the rest of the crowd at family gatherings. This takes a little time to do, but there is a reason for that. In the time it takes to handwrite the story, the writer is able to savour the memory and relive its warmth and good feeling. Now, as this is a Victorianesque undertaking (after all, who were better storytellers than the Victorians?), take your time going through old family photos. Set aside those that evoke your favourite tales. Now pay a visit to your favourite craft or stationery store and look for a nice aged-looking type of paper on which to write your stories. Each photo will get its own sheet of paper, and my recommendation, if you are not a quill or fountain pen fanatic like myself, is to find a nice gel pen or Sharpie marker with which to write your stories. Ball point just never does look right.

Use half the sheet to write your stories, saving the other half to affix your photo either with sticky tack (a reusable clay-like adhesive) or photo corners like those used in old photo albums. As I always say: Be creative. This is yours and should reflect how you wish to present your memories. Format the photo and story as you wish: Photo on top-story on bottom, vice versa, write the story around the photo, etc. And now for presentation. Once you have determined which wall you wish to use, you can hang your pages much like a photo wall, or using ornate cording, fastening each page at various angles, then tack each end of the cord to the wall.

The beauty of this project is that it is more than a conversation starter once company arrives. You can scan each page ahead of time and create scrapbooks as gifts. You can also involve members of your family to submit their favourite stories ahead of time, then write out the stories, affix photos and surprise them with their own contributions as part of the larger family reminiscences.

My apologies for not having a photo yet to share of mine, as it has turned into a larger project than expected (I am horribly verbose, remember?), and due to certain recent events, has new photos to add to the collection. It is a mixed blessing, perhaps; more stories, more smiles, bringing family closer.

Please always keep in mind: The Holidays, no matter which celebration is yours, which belief system or set of traditions you pass on to your family, we all have fond memories and they are still with us. That pain of grieving is simply an overabundance of embraces and kisses with nowhere to go. Now they can come out in the creation of something exclusive to you and yours, your way. For me, it is a legacy for my kinderspawn and a hug across miles to the others of my generation still here, carrying on the memories and stories of those who came before. Have Joy in your heart, after all, you were given the gift of wonderful, silly, shocking, and sometimes embarassing memories. Allow them to make you laugh and smile again. What better way to honour their authors.

Until the next, and from this black, but sentimental heart,

Raven

Haunted Victorianesque Christmas - Candle Light

2011-12-10T20:52:00.000-07:00

Now this topic probably sounds like a complete given, however what makes the use of
candles more Victorianesque is how one displays them. And for the sake of fun, I will
also include oil lighting in this post. Keep in mind that in the mid-Victorian Era, oil lamps, candles and gas lighting were the primary sources of light. That same warm dancing illumination is the same image that holds dear in our collective romantic notions. And that is what makes it so perfect for your Victorianesque Christmas home. Both are relatively inexpensive to acquire and while they have many practical uses year round, they are particularly nice this time of year.

These days the fire hazards of candles on trees and in general is easily avoided as
battery-powered candles and mock candle sticks are found everywhere from prop and
decorating stores to corner drugstores during this season. I picked up two handy
candles last year for all of $1.99 apiece. Granted, mine are secured to skulls with
dripped wax, but they still give a lovely warm glow. Another item seen everywhere now are battery-powered tea lights that actually do have a bit of a flickering effect.

As I am certain everyone has seen, centerpieces with hurricane glass, pillar candles
and circles of evergreens with bows, bells and other decorations abound in just about
every grocery store and flower shop. Craft shops are brimming with silk florals and
supplies to create the same types of centerpieces that will last for years. Here is
where you get to be creative. Much like trees, use colour in your centerpieces to
customize to your own personal style. Use Victorian accents such as glistening fruit,
silk ribbon, reds, purples, blacks, etc. and for those who like the "It's been
sitting there for 40 years" look, spider webs. Here is where those flameless pillar
candles come in handy. One can use the heatless, flameless pillar in the center of
their arrangement, allowing for the use of more webbing across the top of the
hurricane. Sadly, webbing cannot be used in all cases, such as the lovely oil lamp,
however it makes a great replacement for the hurricane lamp in centerpieces.

And on to another of my favourite ways to display candles: the candlabra. What could
be more Victorian? Much like the Hallowe'en posts, if you are going for the haunted
effect, by all means, FORGET to polish the silver. Now choose tapered candles to suit
your colour scheme. I always say ivory is nice for a soft, light display, but if you
are going for a darker, more Gothic or haunting appearance, go with colours that
complement your decor. Purples, burgundies and dark reds still give off the warming
glow of any other candle, but create a very different effect as the wax slowly drips
and creates tiny stalagtites from the tarnished silver of your candlabra. Add to the
fun by draping small evergreen garland through the arms. For a more dismally
delightful look, drape Spanish moss or grapevine, add a bit of black or deep (blood)
red lace with a little sparkle and you are good to go.

Mosaic holders are also wonderful for this time of year. Like simpler lanterns, they
are made to hang, adding that soft glow to higher corners of your haunted Holiday
home, rather than every candle having to sit at tabletop level. I am including a
photo of a few of the pieces I set throughout the house. The beauty of most lanterns
is that they are usually made with darker (bronzed or black-finish) metals. This adds
to the older appearance and as I have been most negligent in dusting mine and
polishing glass, they certainly give that feeling of an old abandoned house, no?

In past posts I have mentioned the beauty of tag sales, thrift shops and cleaning out
closets. Nearly anything made of glass heavier than that of a drinking glass will do
well as a tea light holder. Fortunately, most scented candles come in coloured glass
this time of year and are completely reusable. Any type of display can be conjured up
through the creative use of one of these recycled holders. Every once in a while, one
might also come across a random piece for Hallowe'en or some other Autumn celebration that is red enough to work for Christmas. I have included a snapshot of three pieces of random dust collectors that will give just the right reddish, Christmas-y glow. For craftier folks, it is very easy to paint, add glimmer and bejewel these simple pieces to be part of the yearly decor.

Well, now that I've rambled on again, it is time to turn you loose with a bin of
candles, a box of matches and your imagination. As always, please share pictures of
your creations and I will be more than happy to feature them here.

With that said, I am off to figure out what is next. I know I mentioned lighting, but the candles refused to be ignored. So we shall see what I can conjure up in the meantime.

Have a wonderfully glowy, softly lit evening. Take advantage of your flickering
friends and make shadow puppets on the wall.

Til next.. Keeping it festive and reminiscent with just the right touch of spooky.
Raven

Haunted Victorianesque Christmas - Trees

2011-12-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

When I first began this post, it seemed rather run-of-the-mill with ideas that can be
found in most decorating magazines on news stands this time of year. So I decided to
go back to basics. I realized that when you do Victorian decorating every year for
the holidays, you do not think much about what sets it apart.

One of the things that has always made a Victorian tree stand out is the appearance
of candle light as candles were traditionally used to illuminate the Victorian
evergreen. This practice, however, is frowned on these days, most understandably. If
one is fortunate, they can find string lights with small imitation
candles holding soft white or pale yellow lights that can be clipped to the branches
of modern Christmas trees. I would recommend sites such as Victorian Trading Co.,
which we all know is one of my favourites, yet, for budget reasons, I will keep it
simple. Multi-coloured lights are quite popular and most of us remember them fondly
from our days as miniature kinderspawn, but in as much as they are a great retro
throwback, they do not give the same warm feel of candlelight needed for our
Victorian tree. In lieu of clip-on candles, a few strings of white or pale yellow
lights on your tree give the same warm, twinkling effect, and if placed toward the
inside of the branches, closer to the trunk, will do wonders to backlight your
ornaments, rather than overpower and hide them. A few lights brought out to the end
of random branches, though, will bring out the sparkle and colours of ornaments hung
at the very end of the boughs. I have included a snapshot (at top) of my tree pre-ornaments so as to illustrate the power of plain white lights. Not only do they make the tree glow, but also bring out the colour of backdrops such as draperies (one of my favourite accents to a well-decorated tree.

When it comes to ornamentation, begin with the basics. Consider the colours you want
to go with. Victorian colours are not always pastel. That is a Spring thing. For
Christmas and Winter events, think deep, rich jewel tones such as garnet, burgundies,
deep Victorian reds, and a Goth favourite, purple. Also keep in mind the need for an
accent colour in a metallic. This can be silver, gold and even copper or bronze
colours, depending on the effect you are looking for. Gold and bronze will add more
warm tones, going great with the reds, even burgundy, while silver is a brilliant
accent to go with Winter colours like purple and most blues. I often go with larger
sphere ornaments in the base colour, using smaller ones in the metallics. At this
point, it is easy to get creative.

A small side note here. For the following examples I used a four foot tall "entryway"
tree that sits in a Grecian-style urn. The reason I mention this is to point out the
fact that your Victorian tree can be any size or width you choose. Queen Victoria's
beloved husband actually went so far as to hang trees from the ceiling at Balmoral
Castle adorned with candles in addition to those standing on tables and surrounded by
gifts. And when you are as maniacal as me, it is nice to have different sizes and
themes for different rooms. And now to share some of those themes.

I have included two photos using purple as the base colour, and silver as the accent.
Instead of ball or sphere ornaments in silver, I came across the best little silver
pine cones in glass. You will see in a bit where they actually wound up for the rest
of the season. Also note that in the first photo, rather than using tinsel (very
UNVictorian) or garland, the tree has been draped in black lace. Running it behind a
purple ornament gives the appearance of an even deeper purple, the lace is pressed
back against the lights, allowing a bit of a glimmer between the black strands. In
the second photo, the lace has been replaced with a semi-opaque silver floral ribbon.
The silver helps the cones to accent the purple, brightens the tree and ads even more
shimmer. Changing something as simple as the type of ribbon or lace used can make a
huge difference in the feel of your tree and draw the eye to the ornaments you want
best showcased.

In this next set of photos I am killing two proverbial birds with one stone. We are
now treading slowly into the realm of haunted trees. The first step comes from using
old red ornaments. These ornaments are actually older than most of this blog's
readers. They were originally a bright red, but over the years the colours have faded
and morphed into a mixture of old red and burgundy. I included a close-up snap to
show where the colour has chipped and worn off in places. In the first photo, I was
fortunate enough to come across a ribbon at the craft store that resembled spun
sugar, or spider webs. In a warm gold/bronze colour, this thin ribbon makes a nice,
subtle accent. Following that is a bolder, wide floral ribbon in a red/purple organza,
depending on the angle of light, and bearing a lovely Victorianesque cross and jewel
pattern.

Just as with our Victorianesque Hallowe'en, the goal of this blogger when it comes to
holidays is to bring out the reminiscent side of the old haunted house. No gore, no
scare, just the abandoned, slightly worn, faded, all-but-forgotten imagery of the
home's old grandeur. Using antique ornaments can give your tree a feeling of that
sepia-toned memory the house clings to when Victorian children sat cross-legged on
the floor in front of a crackling fireplace, now sitting empty and cold, as they
listened to stories on Christmas Eve. Now their ghosts still sit listening, vague
outlines of worn little knickers and ruffled skirts brushing neglected wooden floors
and the storytelling is reduced to a barely audible whisper to the living.

Now if you are wanting something a bit more, shall we say...spooky, we can do that,
too. If anyone read my All Hallow's post on Hallowe'en trees, hopefully you still
have your black, leafless creations and purple or orange lights handy. As time was
not on my side this year, I was reduced to bargain store branches painted black and
rolled in glitter. But guess what.. they worked! They had been fitted with purple-
ish/fuschia lights and fit perfectly in an old Grecian urn I just happened to have.
For ornamentation, those little silver pine cones came in most handy. And as my walls
are painted a deep gray, the lights create a hauntingly wonderful visual in a lonely
corner.

There. Now we have the basics down. The rest, as I always say, is up to your
imagination, so run with your creativity! Make the look yours. Grab your personal
Victorian theme and go to town. Having the basics: ornaments, lace, ribbon, colours,
down, add ornaments that suit your nature. Add bows (VERY Victorian), or browse some of the Etsy shops whose links I have listed below, to get ideas or to induce your shopping gene and give some much deserved business to very talented individuals. Keep it as simple or go as FAR over the top as your personality wishes.

For your perusal:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/LalaDangerous
http://www.etsy.com/shop/NacreousAlchemy (You remember this wonderful store from one of my previous posts)
http://www.etsy.com/shop/beyondthepoisonapple
http://www.etsy.com/shop/DarkRoseTreasures

And these are just a few. OH... and if you have any spider webbing left over from
Hallowe'en, try that on the very tips of the branches instead of tinsel. Be sure to
check the flame retardance of the product first, but I guarantee that when it billows
just slightly in the most subtle breeze, your haunted tree will certainly be
complete.

Now I am off to finish decorating the main tree in shades of cocoa and aged bronze
with a little gold (glittered real pine cones). I will post a photo once it is done.
Next post (almost assuredly)... Lighting.

Until then... Break out the ribbon and sparklies. Your evergreens await.
Raven =)

Haunted Victorianesque Christmas - A Lovely Find and a Hint of History

2011-12-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

Welcome to December! My apologies for a month or so of EVGA silence. November has been a month of high activity and preparation for the Winter holidays among other things. I have always been a strong supporter of the idea that the Autumn and Winter holidays were meant to be savoured. I constantly hear how the last part of the year seems to fly by from October with its Hallowe'en planning through New Year. I agree, but not for any reason, in my opinion, other than that all the best holidays were saved up for the best seasons. With that in mind, I did hold off on babbling about Christmas in the hope that those who enjoy Thanksgiving and other Autumn holidays would take the time to revel in their russet-and-gold hued celebrations, enjoying every last moment of Autumn's glory before diving head- and heart-first into snowy Winter and its laundry list of events.

At this point, I should probably stop to apologize to my Irish family and friends, as

St. Patrick's Day is also a favourite holiday of ours, so in the name of consistency, we

will include it in the last fading fringes of Winter. I can get away with this since,

even though it is already getting quite warm by then where I am, the "Official" first day of Spring, also known as the Vernal Equinox, is not until April. See how handy that is?

So back to the holiday at hand: Christmas. And please also allow me to add here that

many of the ideas I hope to share in the 13 posts for the Holidays will often include

hints and decor appropriate for other Winter holidays in addition to Christmas. I

have two goals: To share ideas for a Victorianesque holiday, and to give it the same

sentimentally-haunted feel that is a mainstay for EVGA. My assumption is that if you

have come to this site for decorating ideas, you are not looking to do the same

trendy or cookie cutter decor that can be found on a thousand or more other

wonderfully-designed blogs and sites.

Tonight I would like to lay the groundwork from a Victorian standpoint with just a

little history and a link to a recent find that appeared in my email the other day,

screaming "Forward me on!"

To begin with, for anyone wishing to accomplish Victorianesque Christmas decor, you

are already a good portion of the way there the moment you put up your Christmas

tree. The decorated and illuminated tree is, according to most accounts, something

for which we can thank our dear Queen Victoria. While the evergreen is historically a

part of the holiday long pre-dating Victorian times and stories can be found linking

it to everyone from Martin Luther to the Germanic traditions of some of the first

Pennsylvania settlers, the grandeur of a sparkling evergreen surrounded by gifts can

be most easily attributed to the romantic images brought back to the U.S. from

Britain by dignitaries and writers after having witnessed Albert and Victoria's trees

at Windsor Castle.

Rather than attempt to summarize epic volumes of information on the subject, I

thought I would share both a website and a new iPad app developed by The British

Library that can provide all the Victorian Christmas indulgence one's heart can

handle.

Many here may already know about a wonderful online magazine called Victoriana

Magazine (www.victorianamagazine.com), so for those who have not yet become

acquainted, please, with my blessings, dive in, indulge and there you will find a

multitude of articles on all aspects of Victorian life.

The Victorian Christmas app, available through the iTunes store for $9.99, is created

by BiblioLabs and is a collection of Victorian books on everything from sons, to

poetry, plays to stories. It also includes traditional Victorian Christmas art. My

deepest apologies to anyone (like myself) who is not an iPad owner/user. I am holding

out hope for a non-iPad version for the rest of us. I have been feverishly digging

for something similar, but to no avail... Yet. Believe me, I will keep digging.

But for now...

http://www.bibliolife.com/project/british-library-victorian-christmas/

And for the rest of us:

http://www.victorianamagazine.com

And with that, I am off to proofread the next couple posts and attempt to get decent

photos to go with them. Enjoy the site and anyone who gets the app, please, let me

know what you think.

Ta for now and I promise something MUCH more fun and creative next,
Raven

A Wish for the Holiday Season

2011-11-22T22:57:00.006-07:00

Photo credit: Margaret Taylor via About.com

To begin, please allow me to apologize for the long silence since All Hallow's Eve. I

have jokingly blamed it on "Post-Hallowe'en Malaise" and they do say that every joke

holds a thread or two of truth to it. While, like many of you, Hallowe'en is the

pinnacle of the year, and there are always (large) remnants of it year round in my

home and lifestyle, it is not so much the passing of the holiday that brings that

small, nagging drop of dread. It is the realization that the Holiday Season is upon

us and time will fly much too fast and be gone before we've had a moment to blink,

breathe, or even revel in it. My goal this year is to weed that self-fulfilling

prophecy out of my psyche, and instead.. revel. And I hope that through my writings

here and some of the hair-brained suggestions I commit to print, you will be able to

revel in the holidays, whichever you choose, with me and bring a bit more rich,

decadent colour, candlelight and ghostly glow to the wonderfully dark Winter days and

nights.

My other goal for the holidays and EVGA is to post my own 13 Days of Christmas. I

know, I know... it's 12 days of Christmas, but I prefer a Baker's Dozen..

besides...this is ME we're talking about. As usual, the holiday will be

Victorianesque and I will attempt to lace it with some lovely haunting touches

featuring rich Gothic colours and designs. Does this mean it is only for Christmas? Of course not. I know many fabulously dark and skewed individuals whose Winter holidays do not include the fat man in the red suit. All Victorianesque, haunted and Gothic suggestions should translate to any decor and any celebration. And as always, please do share your ideas, and pictures should you find something of use in my posts.

Please always keep in mind that it is not so much about the decor as the sentiment,

and that decorating and preparation should always be fun. What better time of the

year than the last quarter to let your imagination run wild when Mother Nature has

given you a dark theater and a silver moonlight screen to showcase your creativity

and creations? Do not stress yourself over "just right", but rather, "just for fun."

If I have learned nothing else after many years of eccentric decorating and

experimental holiday cooking (don't ask), some of The Best family traditions are

completely spontaneous and came from last minute decisions because the Grand Plan

went to Hell in a handbasket. Murphy may have been an Irishman, but we all know he

gets around on an international level when our plans are concise. Be flexible, be

adventurous and be prepared to enjoy the Holidays.

Stay tuned...

Raven =)

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Hallowe'en Dinner

2011-10-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

So this evening we had the big family dinner, as one does on any proper holiday. We opted for Victorian red and black for the colours of the evening, purple lights overhead and dishes like Guinness roast, black rice with mushrooms, pasta in Hallowe'en shapes with a deep red, spicy red sauce and gourmet sausages. An assortment of pumpkin and red velvet treats served as dessert with a rich French Roast coffee and spiced cider.

This year, instead of "dressing" for dinner (aka: costuming, as it has been an incredibly hectic season), the evening was spent enjoying time with family, sharing memories of those no longer with us (See post on Homages), and discussing ideas for final touches to last minute decorations before the trick-or-treaters descend on the neighborhood tomorrow as well as ideas for next year, including gardening ideas involving dark vines and blooming foliage in shades of black, crimson and white.

Having a family dinner is much different from the usual Hallowe'en Party. As much as I adore having parties, the dinner allows for a more relaxed, intimate atmosphere and a different dynamic that allows for keeping with the true spirit of the season: Reminiscence. Were we closer to the final resting places of some of those who took center stage in our stories and anecdotes, the day would have included graveside visits and bouquets. As it stands, this year an homage, a story and a toast to the dearly departed took the place of our graveyard festivities.

So why am I sharing this as part of the Victorianesque Hallowe'en list? Well, in Victorian times, Hallowe'en did not include the common practice of children dressing in costumes and going door to door for treats. It was also the time of harvest in more rural areas. Huge celebrations of abundance also heeded the season and old superstitions that included the return of the dead to the land of the living for one night. Celebrations often included offerings and small rituals to ensure the safety of the living and blessings for the dead. Naturally, one could not have a celebration with bonfires without ghost stories. In the cities, the fun of ghost stories was also enjoyed at private gatherings after an elaborate dinner and a few games many of us still enjoy today. No, we did not bob for apples tonight. I'm afraid I baked them. Dessert for tomorrow. One must pace these things, you know.

The final deciding factor in sharing this peek into my own celebrations was when a friend asked what we had planned for the holiday and I mentioned the family dinner. The look I received was one of curiosity and mild surprise. Until that moment, it had not occurred to me that it would be out of the ordinary. Perhaps we are a bit more reserved than those who celebrate Dia de los Muertos (a wonderful celebration, indeed), but the intent, the sentiment and the outcome are the same. Perhaps next year I will try my hand at making sugar skulls just to make it interesting. And messy. I have already emailed a few menu ideas to my friend. I hope her family dinner was just as fun.

For now I am off to work on something for tomorrow, October's final post, and finish jotting down that To Do list from tonight's conversations.

A Blessed, Spooky, Creative and Joyous evening to you all. Sleep well and see you on All Hallow's Eve =)

Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: The Dressform and Coatrack

2011-10-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

I realize I have said other ideas are easy. Well, this one is, too, especially for
anyone who has a coatrack (or tree) standing around somewhere collecting dust. Those
with dressforms seldom allow them to collect dust, and I will bet they already
understand the spooky, haunted Victorianesque home theme forming here.

Now when I speak of a coatrack or coat tree, I am not referring to a lovely
sideboard-type bit of furniture usually called a halltree. Halltrees are last minute
dressing and once-over stations with coat hooks, usually a mirror for checking one's
hair, tie, make up, etc. just before stepping out the front door. Many also do
double-duty as umbrella stands or even small benches for slipping snow boots on and
off. Functional though they may be, they will not work for this. The piece of
furniture I refer to is a free-standing "tree" often five or six feet tall with a
ring of hooks to hold coats, scarves and hats on all sides. Now this will work.

The idea is to create a background prop reminiscent of that old attic movie scene
where great-grandma's wedding dress is reflected in an old dusty mirror, scaring the
wits out of anyone coming up the stairs not expecting it to be there. Get a glimpse
of the picture?

Let's begin with the dress form. Having grown up in a house full of antiques, one of
my least favourite was the old dressmaker's mannequin, or dressform, stored standing
in the rafters of our family's detached garage. One would swear the garage was as
large as the house, and the rafters were open with little more than old doors lain
across the trusses to provide spots to store old things. The dressform had been
placed standing just under the highest spot at the center of the trusses. Three small
windows let very little light into the garage and unless one was brave enough to
sprint for the hanging string that turned on the only bare bulb light in the
building, they were faced with the barely discernable silhouette of a headless
feminine figure staring down at them like a displeased, haunting governess.

Many years later I would bring her (yes, I referred to the form as "her") into the
house to use for a project. I had died a dress and made a veil for a friend's
Hallowe'en costume and needed the form to attach a lace sash to the dress. Once
finished, I placed the veil at the top of the form, where the head should be. What
did not occur to me was that "she" was standing in front of mirrors. The three days
until my friend picked up the costume were an ongoing series of comical
misunderstandings as kinderspawn, elderly mother and guests all, at one point or
another, were a little more than startled by the headless "bride" lurking in the
corner. Alas, the dressform is no longer with us. Having accidentally been left just
inside an open window in the garage during storm season, she became warped and ruined beyond repair. Part of me misses her now.

So for those with dressmaker's forms, I have to say, these are the simplest
Hallowe'en props on earth to use. Old prom, wedding or formal gowns work wonderfully. The more layers, the better. Light fabrics like tulle and sheer silks, even rayons, will drape to the floor softly and give the illusion of a floating figure. You can even use a simple length of three or four yards of soft fabric is ivory or black. Fold it in half lengthwise and drape over the top of the dressform at the fold
allowing the ends to hang to the floor. Using a strip of similar fabric, wide lace or curtain cording, secure the fabric at the waist like a sash or belt. Placing a veil, an old hat or a length of fabric even more sheer than the first at the top of the form adds to the effect.

The coat/hat tree will serve a similar purpose, but without the feminine form. Being
taller, it allows for the use of different ideas, preferably using the same
combination of draping fabrics and hats or other headwear toward the top. A shawl
draped over a hook beside a length of soft fabric, or a cloak create a bit of an
imposing figure.

Place either (or both, if you have them) pieces in an area that will be just slightly
out of regular eyeshot and in a degree of shadow. Back corners and rooms not often
used are ideal for this. These are the rooms that most do not pay much attention to
because they are just off of a main room that is the primary gathering spot. They
aren't often lit and are full of shadows. A door is usually open, unless they are
accessed through an archway, but again, they go more or less unnoticed. That makes
them perfect. Once your billowy figure is put together, place them toward the back of
the room with any view of them only barely obstructed. Using a small fan, placed just
out of sight, set at medium for layered fabrics and low for light ones or single
layers. With oscillating fans, you can let it move to blow against the "skirts" from
different angels, or set on still, aimed against the wall where your figure stands.
This will cause a ricochet of air against the fabrics causing them to billow forward
toward witnesses. Now find a spot for a hidden soft light. Spot lights are too
obvious and will reveal your ruse. Soft lighting across the room from your figure
will illuminate the front just enough for the motion of the fabric to catch a
witness's glimpse just out of the corner of their eye. And that is the idea.

So off with you now. Go haunting, and say hello to your dressmaker's forms and
coatrack figures for me. I am off to untangle the oldest from stringlights. Again.

Be Chic, Be Spooky, Be Victorianesque.

Until next,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: The Frame Up

2011-10-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

This was meant to be last evening's post, but due to a few technical issues, I am
posting tonight. And my apologies for the cornball title that sounded a bit too much
like an old gangster film line. It is just so difficult to come up with a witty
reference to old picture frames. Although I'm certain at least a few of you will
immediately come up with a dozen or more phrases FAR better than mine. Or one will
occur to me as soon as I post. But I digress.

On with the post. Now I am quite certain I mentioned old picture frames among the
many things that can be altered through the brilliance of modern chemistry and
environmentally-safe propellants (aka: black spray paint) in the post "Paint It
Black." The things I had not yet mentioned will be outlined this evening. These days
the trend seems to be wall decals. Please do not get me wrong, I have seen some
fantastic ideas and designs, as I am quite sure you have, too, however, we want our
haunted Victorianesque home to be more realistic, to have a true classic feel and be,
well, three-dimensional.

By now we have established that a lot of wonderful Hallowe'en decor goes unrealized
as it sits collecting dust in storage sheds, closets and thrift stores. Slowly but
surely we can "repurpose" a lot of these items with a Gothic Victorian flair both for
our haunted Victorianesque Hallowe'en, as well as year-round. Old picture frames are
among the much-overlooked items, mostly because their value usually lies in the
picture they display. When the picture no longer goes with the home's decorative
theme, picture, frame and all go into the trash, a closet, a shed, storeroom or off
to the thrift store. A few fortunate ones get a slim chance at a new life via yard
sale or online sales (Craigslist, eBay, etc).

Truly lucky old frames find new lives at the hands of imaginative crafters. The rest
we will try to save for our own dark decorative purposes by discarding that old
artwork and adding them to a wall of frames. Keep in mind, some art is certainly
worth saving, but if it is not going to be displayed, it is best preserved rolled and
in a sealed tube to protect it from light, humidity, scratches, etc. This leaves the
frame free to go on to other things.

The first step is very simple. Paint it black. Flat black, crackle black, glossy
black, brushed black, sprayed black, speckled black, any black. You choose. Does the
shape, size or style of frame matter? Not really, no. The more variety, the better.
By all means, include some very ornate (think: Baroque) frames in your menagerie, but
keep in mind that simple is great, too.

Now they're black. What next? The main idea is to dedicate a wall or large enough
portion of a wall to a display of your black frames. Here's where the fun begins:

Hang your frames empty and slightly askew at different angles.
Hang your frames empty and uniform, but at different heights.
Hang your frames from one another. In other words, hang a few in a loosely-lined uptop row as you would normally: hammer and nail. Hang one or two from those using twine or hanging wire by attaching a longer-than-usual piece to one corner or side of the second frame, looping through the bottom of the top-row frame, then back down to the opposite side or corner. Nail, loop, repeat, at varying lengths and mixing up your frame sizes and styles.
For frames with glass, press a piece of black paper behind the glass and then hang amongst empty, glassless frames. At first glance, they will appear empty, too, but by moving across in front of them, visitors may notice a faint reflection of themselves, shadowlike in the glass. By scattering them amongst glassless frames, it will give off a slight illusion of someone else walking "behind" your wall of frames.
Hang your frames using picturing hanging wire, but use a piece much longer than the frame is wide. Insert a small tack or nail in the wall for the bottom of the frame to rest on, allowing the top to hang forward. Do this at varying lengths for each frame, keeping some flush to the wall and others at slight angles (this may require two small tacks or nails to hold the frames in place).
Use broken frames as well as good ones. Hang the broken ones (also painted black)at slight angels between the others to add to the "abandoned, haunted home" look.

Now these are just a few ideas. Coloured foil in glassed frames can accent your decor while giving off spooky-coloured reflections of passers by. A grey tissue silhouette
behind glass is just noticeable enough in the right light, and as always, string
lights laced or draped loosely through your display draws attention to them as well
as adding a nice visual glimmer.

Yes, I will be getting pictures up just as soon as I get time to finish painting and
clearing a wall. For now I leave it to your endless imaginations and ask that you
share your creations, if you wish.

Now to find more coffee and the rest of my topics list.

As a side note: While I have, regrettably, been unable to do a post-a-day throughout
the month of October, there are 31-plus ideas on the board, and thanks to the
encouragement of many fabulous readers, they will find a home in a book I "hope" to
complete before All Hallow's 2012, complete with lots of pictures. I will post more
on this project as time and progress allow.

For tonight, Keep it Spooky Chic and Darkly Divine.

Ever,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Lattices

2011-10-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. It took me long enough to get to this topic. Fortunately, it does not
take much time or financial investment, but yields probably one of THE best reusable
and versatile items of haunting Victorianesque decor one can add to their collection.

This little trick is actually quite common for wedding locations and department store
display designers. Now we will make it work for your lovely haunted home. All it
takes is a length of lightweight wooden lattice work (similar to photo above), silk
vines, perhaps a few string lights and a small number of other optional items to
accomplish the look and function you wish from your Victorianesque backdrop.

Wooden lattice and trellises are very popular in neo-Victorian gardens because of
their ability to support ornate, fragrant vintage flowering vines, create a visual
screen, blocking the modern world outside, and serving as backdrops for wonderful
sitting areas, walkways and displays of rich and varied types of foliage.

For our purposes, here are a few ideas where latticework can be used to add a
Victorian flair, serve as a backdrop, set a mood, and guide trick-or-treaters to your
door while evoking "oohs" and "ahhs" from children and parents alike.

Single lengths of 4 ft. x 8 ft. lattice can be cut to desired height and width then decorated with silk vines and laced with string lights. Add your own touches as desired.
2 or 3 uncut panels can create a full wall to discreetly hide or block areas where trick-or-treaters or visitors are not meant to wander. Decorate similar to above. Using small hinges, the panels can be attached, making them a bit more stable and easy to z-fold and store. Attach 3 at the front between panels 1 and 2, and 3 at the back of 2 and 3, leaving enough room for the hinge to swing forward or back. This allows your 3 panel lattice to fold forward or backward in a C-shape, each way in a Z-shape and to varying degrees for both.
2 ft. x 3 ft. pieces, paint black and suspend in trees or position in other discreet places in your yard away from walkways. Position lights behind lattice, aiming downward to cast eerie crosshatch shadows on walkways. Add silhouettes of bats, spiders and other friendly Hallowe'en creatures. These pieces can also be suspended in more obvious and "decorative" places as perches for your family monsters and protectors of your haunted home. At dusk they will add an air of eerieness, and as the light comes on after dark, their outlines on the ground and walls will remind visitors that they are still there, ever dilligent in their duties.
Lattice work can also be trimmed to 12" - 16" wide in longer lengths to create temporary Victorianesque porch trim, especially when painted to match your home's own external colour scheme. Again, it is a wonderful place to house string lights, silk vines, or even hanging Spanish moss to dance on the breeze.

These are just a very few ideas for what can be done with lattice work that is easily
found at any home improvement store or gardening center. A somewhat accomplished
carpenter can use wooden or even vinyl molding to trim the lattice, adding support
and allowing for more elaborate displays. One or two 2x4s across the bottom are an
ideal base allowing for the attachment of wheels, making the panels even easier to
move and store. It all depends on your imagination and ingenuity.

As always, should you give this a go, please do send photos. I would love to feature
them as inspiration for other readers.

Now I'm off to find a lightweight gargoyle and make him a nice little perch over the
carport.

Until Next... Plumb the Pipe Organs and Haunt On,

Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Indoor Autumn Gardening

2011-10-20T21:30:00.002-07:00

I have really been looking forward to writing this piece for a number of reasons. The
first being that while most see Autumn as the time of harvest and putting the garden
to rest, the Victorians had some of the best approaches to maintaining a garden year
round. Even though greenhouses have been around since long before the Victorians, one
of my favourite images of grand Victorian homes includes the ornate skeletal
framework and glasswork of their sanctuaries for all things green and flowering
during the coldest months.

Their decor reflected a love of all things natural, and this time of year many of us
find countless ways to decorate with the fruits of the harvest and the deep, vibrant
colours that only Autumn brings. The outdoors seem even more alive with fiery hues
and the rich scents carried past on slow, low-rolling breezes. And like then, even
now we attempt to bring that outdoor vibrance indoors with us.

A trend over the last several years that has made me quite happy is the newer
approaches to jack-o-lanterns. This Hallowe'en staple originally intended to scare
off bad spirits, greedy trick-or-treaters and replace the head of certain vision-
impaired horsemen, has been turned into the newest Hallowe'en artistic canvas with a
wide variety of designs from witches in flight to ghosts, back-lit cats and all of
the usual Hallowe'en designs. Luckily, and quite artistically, many individuals have
taken this trend several steps further. Craft stores now stock molded copies of our
favourite oversized gourd, allowing creative individuals to use them as flower vases,
scarecrow heads, jack-o-lanterns and anything else they can dream up, all without the
fear of rot, drooping, that LOVELY smell and a very short display life.

So what am I proposing here? Including jack-o-lanterns and other decorative gourds in
your Victorianesque decor. Imagine a beautiful, huge Victorian bouquet nestled
securely in a pumpkin, or a series of illuminated images lining your staircase or
buffet. To give you a better idea of what I am referring to, I have the pleasure of
featuring the delightfully creative Gothic Gourd Girl and her plethora of Autumn
creations. Below are two photos of one of her most recent pieces, the Weeping Willow.
I love this particular gourd because of the almost Gorey-esque style. When unlit, the
pale gourd allows the carving to stand out almost like ink on paper, but when lit, it
stands it all it's weeping Hallowe'en glory.

I would encourage anyone to visit her site and see all of the fun things she has to
offer, from gourd bouquets to wreaths as well as the fun carvings she designs. And a
fun side note about Stacy, the Gothic Gourd Girl: She is not just an artist, she is
very active in her local zombie scene, showing her finesse and sense of style as a
zombie pin-up girl. Now while most of you know I am not a "zombie person", how could
I possibly pass up the chance to feature a lovely zombie with such Victorian finesse?

Now I leave you to peruse GGG's site and decide how you want to bring the Autumn
charm of the outdoors into your haunted Victorianesque home. I am off to find more
things to illuminate.

Gothic Gourds site: http://gothicgourds.com/
All photos property of GothicGourds.com. Many, many thanks for allowing me to use them.
Until next...Keep a warm glow in the hearth and a chill wind in the attic,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Literary Decor

2011-10-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

This one probably goes without saying. However, that would make for a very short,
very boring post. Mind you, I am not referring to just having a few of the old scary
classics about. I am referring to books as a display, and with just a little
wordplay, imagination and a half-decent printer or brown marker, a very personalized,
haunted book display. Now that I think about it, this is so deceptively simple, it
may still wind up a very short post. Or shorter than most of my incredibly verbose
ramblings.

What makes a Victorian home truly Victorian? Scrollwork along the eaves? A wrap
around porch? Long staircases and ornate wallpaper? Well, perhaps a few of those, but
the answer I am going for here is a Library. Stately Victorian homes have studies,
libraries and loads of dusty, musty old books. And while I cannot offer advice on
building ceiling to floor oak bookshelves with a built-on, rolling ladder, complete
with the extra room most of us would need to build to house them, I can offer ideas
to build your haunted Victorianesque collection of literary decor. The best part? NO
breaking the bank on bookselling websites or stalking the local bookseller until he
or she lends you their full stock just for Hallowe'en.

Now if you are on this site, I would say it is safe to assume you have a few of the
classics lying about: Bram Stoker's Dracula, E.A. Poe, Mary Shelley, H.P. Lovecraft,
Jules Verne (Hey, that seamonster in 20,000 Leagues was scary). With the help of a
temporary bookshelf in a prominent spot, these lovely tomes can be brought out to
play with the rest of your decor. Skulls make wonderful book ends and craft store
ravens, crows and owls keep them fine company perched on top. And do not forget the
string lights or battery-powered candles. A sparse scattering of spider webs are a
brilliant touch as well.

Short on books, you say? Well, now, we cannot have that. That is where the paper,
printer and/or markers, calligraphy quills or other writing utensil OTHER than ball-
point pen will come in quite handy. How? Simple. Handmade book sleeves. The sleeves
themselves are quite easy to make and allow you to use ANY book, regardless of size,
transforming it into a worn, old book, or an old book with a spooky title of your own
creation.

Begin with a parchment-coloured, or brownish sheet of paper, easily found at any
craft store. Fold the long edges in, measuring to fit the height of the book you will
be using. Laying the closed book on the paper, wrap one end up over the bookbinding
and center so that the unfolded ends extend evenly past the edges of the book, then
fold under. With your book jacket folded to fit, now you can begin to personalize it
with titles and decorations, mimicking the style of antique books, but with your own
flair. Keep in mind that not all old books had titles down the backbone. Often simple
raised, embossed lines were all the ornamentation that faced out from those large
bookshelves. The actual titles were either inside, or on the book's front cover.

Peruse a few old book stores online and off to get an idea of the type of imagery you
wish to create. After you have created your new spooky "library", stack slightly
askew on a side table as a centerpiece, or on your haunted, dusty, spiderwebby
bookshelf.

There. Now was that not the simplest thing? No cutting. No gluing. No painting. Just
paper, markers, books... Oh, and do not forget a skull and candlestick or two. Leave
a couple on a small table beside your favourite chair, displayed on the mantle, and
perhaps on a little shelf in the lavatory. Is that not also referred to as "the
reading room"?

Have fun with your books, and by all means, please share your new titles with me. Bad
puns and even worse "groaner" jokes are always welcome. I will post them as a list in
a future post with full credit to their authors.

Until next, Keep it Shadowy...
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: The Home Apothecary

2011-10-18T20:48:00.001-07:00

This is probably one of the easiest and most popular ideas out there for Hallowe'en
decorating with a Victorian flair: The home apothecary. Nothing says "Victorianesque
Hallowe'en" without some apothecary jars in all sizes, a few posters or banners, and
a collection of oddly coloured liquids, or dried "goodies".

The best part is that supplies are pretty easy to get, and antiqued-looking labels
are easily found (Etsy crafters have tons of great labels), or made yourself. In
fact, those of us who are packrats to any degree, may find old bottles that we "just
knew" would have another purpose. Dig them out of storage, soak the labels off, if
needed and prepare to create your apothecary. Thrift stores often have tons of dusty
little bottles that deserve a new life. Remember those "stopper top" spice jars that
were once so popular? Truth be told, many of them wind up at Goodwill and other
resale shops because they didn't seal well, spices got stale and the owners just had
no other use for them. Now you do.

If you're feeling particularly antique-minded, the bell jar and large apothecary jars
are making a decorative comeback at stores like Pier 1, Victorian Trading Co. and an
oldie, but goodie, Bombay Co. You can also Google "apothecary jars" online and find
tons of sellers with little to big glass gems just waiting to do something
interesting rather than sitting collecting more dust. Keep in mind, though, that
collecting dust is not an entirely bad thing this holiday. So don't break out the
glass cleaner just yet.

So what to do with all those jars you have just run out and dragged in from the
garage or the corner thrift store. The first step is to find a safe place to display
your goodies, and I am not just referring to the jars or their lovely labels, but
also all the fun things you can put inside them. If you have felines as I do, shelves
and shiny bottles are especially tempting. As fortune would have it, mine do not jump
up on high furniture. Have to love a lazy feline. Now if you happen to have an
enclosed curio cabinet, even better. Just as long as you have a safe haven for your
Victorianesque "cure alls".. (Poisons could be considered a cure.. of some sort, no?)

Now that you have a place picked out and not dusted, we get to the job of filling
those jars. If your jars are going to stay put, coloured water in creepy hues of
amber and green often do the trick. A little red food colour with a lot of blue
creates a purple very close to black. Although I have heard there is a black food
colouring out there now, but have yet to find it. I hope you have far better luck
than I. If you are using coloured bottles, A simple red water will usually look black
through the glass, adding to the affect of your questionable medicines.

As for the larger apothecary jars (See Victorian Trading Co pic above), they are
ideal for larger dry objects like flower petals, thorny weeds, grey gauze (to look
aged, of course), surplus spider webs.. well, you get the picture. Now, since the
price of the larger jars tends to make them an investment you may not wish to glue
labels to, that does not mean you are without options for labelling. Just a bit of
narrow satin or velvet ribbon and a handmade sign make the perfect label to be hung
around the neck.

There are also uses for your jars that can be fun and get a few odd looks, all in
good fun, of course. Small jars can be sterilized and used to hold salt and pepper
for the dinner table or sprinkles for cupcakes. Imagine the look on guests' faces as
they observe you going for the Apothecary shelf, taking down a small bottle and
sprinking something green or purple and sparkly on your freshly baked goodies.
Granted, if it were my guests, I doubt it would be a look of shock. The more timid
might stick to their diets, though the more skewed (aka: most of them) would dive in.

As I find myself repeating, use your imagination. There are countless possibilities
for your jars. But back to that shelf, curio cabinet or bit of table or buffet space
used to display your Victorianesque mini-medicine cabinet. Just displaying your jars
is not really enough. This is another fine opportunity to make use of string lights.
Laced between bottles or piled behind them, the lights cast a wonderful glow through
the glass, illuminating the different coloured liquids and casting fantastic shadows
through the dried flora (or fauna, depending on how adventurous you feel).

However, no display would be complete without a backdrop. Most Hallowe'en shops carry some form of banner, but I would also recommend two sites: Victorian Trading, and one I have purchased from several times: Madame Talbot's Victorian Lowbrow. Madame Talbot is a wonderful artist with a wide collection of apothecary antiques and posters of her own design in Victorian fashion that run wonderfully with the apothecary and other Hallowe'en themes. Links to both are listed below.

Enjoy a little online browsing, and please share pics of your apothecaries. I always
love seeing what people do with old bottles. Once I find a feline-proof spot, I hope
to get something put together and will post a photo.

Now to that shopping:

Apothecary Jars and many things both Victorian and Hallowe'en: www.victoriantradingco.com
Beautiful posters and all manner of macabre goodies: www.madametalbot.com

Off to do a bit more, myself.
Until next, Stay Calm and Scary On...
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Wicker

2011-10-16T19:32:00.003-07:00

Very few things are as Victorian as wicker furniture. And very few styles of furniture
are as unappreciated in this day and age as wicker. I am constantly seeing unloved,
abandoned wicker side tables sitting, slightly tattered in thrift shops and ignored
on front porches. The demand for more durable furniture has led to the creation of
patio furniture woven from strips of vinyl, which, ironically, dry-rots and falls
apart as well.

So what does this have to do with our Hallowe'en home? Easy. For those who have some abandoned little wicker shelves or the aforementioned end table sitting in an attic or storeroom somewhere, this is a good time to knock off the dust and put it to good use as a jack-o-lantern stand as the centerpiece of a nice display on your front porch. Admittedly, its tattered, aged look will fit in perfectly with the spiderwebs, eerie lighting and grinning gourds that sit waiting to greet your visitors. It adds
an air of antiquity that no folding plastic table can possibly dream of.

Do you have, or have you seen some discarded wicker chairs, but you wonder about their safety as seats? Same concept. Grab one or two, more if you have a large porch, a larger budget and a lot of motivation. These poor orphans are perfect seating for your best dressed skeletons, for lining with straw and holding additional jack-o-lanterns or collections of colourful gourds, and can be lit safely with battery-operated candles. Each hair becomes an Autumn floral/gourd arrangement all on its own. Truly there is nothing sadder than an empty chair on a front porch, and nothing classier than wicker, new and old, adorning the entry to your haunted Victorianesque home.

Be creative. Drape an old tattered quilt over the back of one, scattered dried
flowers across another, rest a wreath against the back or allow one of your sweetest
large spiders to perch on the back or arm of one, giving it a nice view of newcomers.
I have no doubt that with a little ingenuity, that little table, chair, woven chest
or shelf you had no other use for, that definitely did NOT go with your decor, can be
purposeful again, if only for this time of year. It will fit well with your Spooky
Chic with a bit of black paint, or leave it battered white and dusty for affect.
And if you have a good wicker chair, mix it into the display, giving you a
comfortable spot to sit amongst your wonderful decor, greeting (or startling) trick-
or-treaters whenever you wish.

And with that, I am off to see what else I have in the Mary Poppins bag of dark
goodies.
Until next, Keep it Spooky
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Old Houses and Amateur Photographers

2011-10-16T13:03:00.002-07:00

What adds to the ambiance of a haunted Victorian home more than pictures of other
possibly-haunted Victorian homes? And if you have ever been to any historic home or
hotel that is reputed to be haunted, I am sure you've noticed old sepia photos of
those places back in their heyday, hanging somewhere in the lobby with a short
historic blurb on a plaquard just below, or in a small side room with other mementos
of "back in the day." The same concept applies here.

It really is a very simple, very inexpensive way to build your Hallowe'en decor
collection and keep it personalized. Professional photography and editing skills are
NOT required, and it provides a great opportunity for outings and getting to know
your city or town, and even the surrounding areas if you and the kinderspawn or
significant others are up for a day trip or even a weekend away.

The key is to look around you at other homes, historic homes, historic districts and
abandoned real estate. Take your camera. Even a camera phone will work, and in some
cases, be to your advantage. I'll explain a bit more about that shortly. And of
course we go back to planning. Think about the feel you want to give your haunted
Victorianesque home. Do you want to portray homes? Perhaps display the history and
"haunt spots" of your locale? Or just be creative and random? Make a short list of
ideas and locations then set out, camera and eyes at the ready. Snap photos, lots of
photos, from the car, from the sidewalk. Please, always remember to be respectful of
private property and the owners of those homes still inhabited. Owners of historic
homes are often used to their houses being photographed, but we must never lose sight
of respectful practices. No shots of mom and dad bringing in groceries from the
street. Not only is it invasive, it will quite ruin the aesthetic of your old home
photo later on, I assure you.

If you are feeling particularly adventurous, go for the abandoned buildings. Some of
the most amazing photography I have seen involves old properties that once were
glorious, but for reasons ranging from economic to lack of interest, they find
themselves standing empty and ignored. Images of their slow decay often inspire
onlookers to envision what they must have been like at the height of their existence,
and if you look closely enough, you might notice small details in the stonework that
stand silent testament to the artistic nature of their original creators.

Now just taking pictures is not enough. You will want your photos to reflect the age
of the buildings you have now immortalized on digital "film". Some smartphones, such
as Droid have a feature that allows you to take photos with a sepia or black and
white tone already set. While this is certainly handy, I would recommend using the
standard settings and taking your photos in colour. This gives you a "clean" base
image to do anything you want to, as many different ways as you wish to. For those of us who do not own professional editing software like PhotoShop, etc., there are many free programs available both for download and to be used online that will allow you to alter your images' contrasts, add sepia or black and white tones, for free and are relatively easy to use. A few of these are: Picasa 3 (a Google app), GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program), Pixlr and Photoscape. Many computers also come with their own media and photo editing software applications as part of the basic package. Take some time to explore and play around with them.

Finally, once you have taken, sorted and played with your images, you will want them
printed and ready for framing. If you do not have a printer that does photo paper
well, or wish to save yourself the cost of ink, paper, etc. there are several sites
online that will store your images and allow you to choose prints, sizes and
quantities, then they will print high quality photos and ship them to you quickly for
a very affordable price. Shutterfly and Kodak Gallery are two such sites. Search
around and you may find others just right for your needs.

And back to your images as decor. Remember one of the previous posts about painting
things black? Did you find a few old frames at a tag sale or thrift store? Your new
images do not require expensive framing at a craft or framing shop. The idea is to
look old, and far from contemporary. Using large, ornate or clunky frames with
smaller prints allows you to be creative. Craft stores sell pre-cut matting to fill
the gap between the large frame and the edges of your picture, however, you can use
this same concept with ornate fabrics or wall papers to add a personalized, Victorian
Era touch.

While all of this may sound like a lot of work, it really is not. With a small bit of
research, you may find information about some of the buildings you photographed. Use
that to print your own "plaquards" and exhibit them in a smaller frame below your
photo. Give your Victorianesque haunted home the feel of a miniature museum. A lot of
those old Victorian homes you may have photographed, if held by a trust or historical
foundation, usually have something very similar themselves to educate visitors. What
better way to learn about your community while adding to your decor?

So with all of that said (or rambled), I will leave you to mapping out your daytrips
and voyages of local discovery. As always, have fun with the project and make it 100%
yours.

As a side note, if you do run with it and collect a bit of history, by all means,
drop me a line with your findings and images. I would LOVE to feature your work in
future EVGA postings with full credit to the history sleuth you are.

Until next, Shadows and Spooky Sounds,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Paint It Black

2011-10-13T17:09:00.001-07:00

Now that the Rolling Stones have had their song title stolen, I'll explain why (and fight the urge to run pick up paint for my front door, which quite honestly..needs it). But I'm not necessarily discussing painting doors. You can, however, paint all sorts of things black for this holiday. So let's do...

What better way to jump into the realm of Hallowe'en stereotyping than to go on a painting spree, subjecting anything that will sit still and allow a coat and a matte top coat to be turned into a wonderfully "Spooky Chic" and somewhat antique-ish decoration for the holiday. Ikea, World Market, Pier One and Crate and Barrel can't be the only ones to capitalize on the monochromatic appeal of black. However, in our case, the cost will be substantially lower.

Here's what you do: As mentioned in prior posts, tag/yard/estate/garage sales and thrift stores are phenomenal places for finding odds and ends to be used for your Victorianesque Haunted home. The best part is if it is wood, it should hold paint, store well and be reusable each year, if not left out as part of the year-round decor, depending on your individual tastes. So hit the sales and if you find black items you like, go for it. If you find wooden items such as candle sticks, platters, serving trays, picture frames, end tables (you get the picture) that appear to be perfect for your Victorianesque look, fret not if they are some finish other than black.

Keep in mind that finished pieces, those with a varnish or other paint, on them will need to be stripped and treated before they can be painted, but in the end, will be well worth the effort. Stripping (stifle the snickers and giggles) is quite easy and your neighborhood home improvement store employee will be able to help you find the right solvent and tools, as well as giving you a quick course in How To.

Now if you are fortunate enough to find pieces that are UNfinished, then painting is all that is needed, along with a simple application of a matte (non-shiny) sealant coat to protect your piece and maintain it's "old" look. For the more advanced crafter, I'm sure you all have a lot of ideas for specialty finishes such as crackle, peel and strategic wear. DIY sites like BHG and Martha Stewart as well as YouTube house countless videos on how to give your wooden bits a special kind of appearance.

A particularly fun and easy project involves small wooden picket garden fences, the miniature kind found in garden shops and used around flower beds rather than yards. These are amazingly easy to paint, and work perfectly for your graveyard and haunted garden decor.

As much as a lot of this probably seems very obvious to the Goth and Hallowe'en-minded, I think a lot of us overlook countless possibilities when it comes to the brilliance of a good noir paintjob. Basic Black is for far more than little dresses and hipster decor. Flat black on wood gives a sense of history and wear, and adds the perfect classy foundational appearance to everything else you do.

Have fun with the paints, spray, brush or dip..it's your party. I am off to see what unfinished goodies I have hidden in a back closet that could use a touch-up or redo. Oh, and to work on the next blog post for your Victorianesque Hallowe'en.

Until next,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Aging (The Indoors) Gracefully

2011-10-13T12:20:00.000-07:00

As many know, the Victorians loved decorating with very nature-based themes.
Wallpapers were designed with curling leaf-like swirls, images of urns and cabbage
roses, all inspired by the desire to bring the beauty of the outdoors inside. Large
homes had solariums and green houses that assisted aspiring gardeners with a safe
haven for more tropical plants as well as providing them a green sanctuary during
colder winter months.

These are excellent places to start in creating your haunted Victorianesque
Hallowe'en home. A large silk floral arrangement in dark colours, indoor palm trees
and Autumn-hued brocade sofa throws not only give your home a richer, more inviting
appeal, they set the stage for a somewhat Poe-esque backdrop when reading horror
stories by firelight or enjoying your favourite old black and white scary films. A
very light application of spider webbing and you are at the threshhold of truly
haunting your Victorianesque home.

This brings me to the next stage of haunting your home with foliage. And if you are
someone with the proverbial "brown thumb", fear not, this time it may be to your
benefit. Keeping in mind that the idea is to have a haunted Victorianesque home,
let's go back to earlier postings about the ambiance you are attempting to create.
That grand old Victorian home that has fallen into mild to severe states of disrepair
(your choice) is going to show signs through more than spider webs or leaves on the
porches and perhaps the floor (this works wonderfully on wood floors and clean up is
easy).

Granted, I would never recommend ANYone put cracks in their walls or start peeling
back their wallpaper (again, your choice, of course), but there are other signs of
wear and tear that can be done with the use of dried/dead or silk plants and vines.
As any old house faces abandonment, it is once again slowly adopted by Mother Nature.
Stone walks become cracked as small weeds and plants part the stones and push their
way through to see the rain and sunlight. Fences and porches become overgrown by
untended bushes and untrimmed vines. And occasionally those vines find shelter and
new places to spread out and thrive by pushing through partially-open or cracked
windows, vent work, attic openings and separations in the wood under old eaves.

To speed the process and invite Autumn-y Mother Nature into your haunted home, use
dried or silk vines along window sills and ventwork. Be sure to attach one end at a
corner or opening while letting the other end trail off. If you have a piece of
furniture near the "entry point", trail your vine along the top or down to wind
around a leg. In older houses with floor vents, trail the loose end along baseboards,
and if you wish, tack low against the baseboard or wall as if growing upward with a
mind of its own. As you can tell, there are plenty of places you can use this
effect: Windows, vents, doors, transoms. Use your imagination. And use small or
directional lights where you wish to draw just enough attention to them.

Now back to what I said earlier about cracks...while I do not recommend taking a
hammer to the plaster and drywall just to decorate for Hallowe'en, this is one place
where black spider webbing (found at any party/craft store this time of year) comes
in handy with just a SMALL dab of light use rubber cement. A few strands secured in a
few places can look quite a bit like a crack because they will cast a slight shadow,
giving depth to your affect. Then they are easily removed.

So hoorah to all the gardening-challenged. Get out there and find prime spots for
your twigs and potential compost. I am off to remember what I was going to write
next.

Until then, Stay Spooky!

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: The Homage

2011-10-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

Now it's time to get a bit personal. What I refer to as an "homage" (pronounced: "o-
maj" with a soft "j", meaning: "Special honor or respect shown or expressed
publicly") is the creative act of taking the opportunity to make use of the energies
and origins of this season, and particularly the holiday to pay respects to our
dearly departed.

A large part of our draw to the Victorian Era, along with its finery and brilliant
stories, is its grand shows of reminiscing and memorialization. Victorians embrace
their memories and display them for future generations to experience and feel at
their core and to learn from. Practices such as post-mortem photography and cemetery
art set the standard for many when it came to mourning their dead and keeping their
memory alive by paying homage to them in many creative ways.
So for this Victorianesque Hallowe'en, we will discuss ways you can pay homage to
those who are truly never that far away, whom you hold close to your heart, and whose legacy lives on in the stories your families may have told, or the moments you may remember with them. Keep in mind, should you choose to include an homage in your decor, that there is really no wrong or right way to do it. This is for you, your family, your departed loved one, and anyone you choose to share it with. You can display it as privately or publicly as you wish.
Now to details. For very obvious reasons, your homage is an incredibly personal
thing, and this will help you with its design and display. You can have as many as
you wish, for relatives, loved ones, friends, even strangers whom you wish to honour.
You can do your display as an accumulation of all those whose company you may wish to enjoy on All Hallow's Night, or whom you wish Peace and Grace, or both. If possible, begin with a photo of the individual. If one is not available, a momento will do. Anything that is significant to this individual. An old friend of mine, a calligrapher, used to simply write the name, date of birth and date of death, and a small quote or note, much like a portable, paper headstone, and use that as the
centerpiece for the homage, or memoriam. Find a relatively undisturbed spot where your homage will not be upturned or in the way. Sideboards and shelves are wonderful for this. I will give another idea shortly for a hanging homage.
Decorate the spot with flowers, fabrics, personal items and add a few tea lights or
candles to symbolize their immortality and the light they shed on others during their
time on Earth. In a previous post I also mentioned the use of string lights. These
wonderful little illuminators accent the candles and give the homage a warm glow when
you are unable to leave an open flame.
Don't rush yourself. This is your opportunity to spend some time with their memory.
Each piece you place has profound significance. If you wish, make it a shared
experience by having friends or family members of your choosing also place a memento,
light a candle and perhaps share a story or share a confidence with the departed
individual.
Now for the hanging homage, this is a bit simpler, but the idea is the same. If you
have a picture hanging on the wall and do not wish to move or risk being knocked
over, and perhaps it is unreasonable to move a small tea table or side board beneath
it, you can still have your homage for your loved one. First be certain the frame is
secured well to the wall. Drape the frame with a light fabric, lace or a garland of
silk ivy or vine of your choice. A small string of lights can be added, provided the
hook is strong enough. In some cases, a small wall sconce with a tea light can be
hung on the wall just below the picture so that it's glow rises to illuminate their
visage. Dried or silk flowers can be tucked behind the corners of the frame (as long
as they are kept clear of lit candles).
No matter how you create your homage, it is your unique dedication to those who have
come before. This is certainly a festive time of year with fun and a lot of Autumn-
hued frivolity. This simple bit of decorating also helps to keep alive the "reason
for the season" and perhaps bring a bit of Peace to hearts and minds during one of
the most superstition-laden (perhaps justified in many ways) times of the year. Once
I am finished with mine, I will come back and include a photo.
Many Blessings to All, Present and Departed,
Until Next,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Costume Ideas

2011-10-11T17:46:00.001-07:00

There is a lot more to Victorian Hallowe'en costumes than tossing on a bustle skirt
and corset or top hat and tails. While in and of themselves, these are great ideas
for costumes this time of year, this is also an opportunity to use some imagination
and make your Victorianesque costume far more personal and unique from all the other
large garden party hats, small boaters, top hats, long skirts, long coats and walking
sticks.

If you are looking to affect a Victorian look this year (or any year, really), peruse
the readily available lists of Victorian characters found in literature and history.
An afternoon in a library or browsing online will provide ideas from the many "sub-
eras" of Victoriana. If you gaze at a timeline of fashions during the reign of our
dear Queen Vic, dresses varied from enormous bell-shaped skirts with crenalines to
the more exaggerated and then subdued narrowed, aproned and bustled skirts in the
latter portion of the era. And just as fashions changed, so did the heros and
heroines of some of the period's finest authors.
Even some of the authors themselves were visibly unique and recognizable. Who
wouldn't recognize these favourites: Oscar Wilde, Poe, Lovecraft, Twain? Not only did
they give us some of the most culture-shaping literature, they set many standards in
our minds as to the look of the era.

Just a very few characters that spring to mind:

Oliver Twist
Captain Bly
Sherlock Holmes
Doctor Watson
Queen Victoria, herself
Constable
The Scarlet Pimpernel
Miss Havisham (Great Expectations)
Toad (Wind in the Willows) - Don't laugh too hard. I've seen this one done well.
Sweeney Todd
Mrs Lovett

And my favourite ones, borrowed from another rather popular holiday:

Ebenezer Scrooge
Jacob Marley
The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come
Bob Cratchet

I mean, honestly, ghosts.. What is more fitting at Hallowe'en?

The idea is to find your favourite representation of the holiday if you are hunting
for just the right costume for your Victorianesque Hallowe'en. Nearly everyone has
that one character or author that stood out most to them from a very early age. It is
not always necessary to make your Victorian character a vampire, unless he's Dracula
and unless that is what you are going for. Hmmm... a vampiric Holmes. I wonder if
that's been done? Miss Havisham as a zombie.. after all, the poor thing never did
take off that wedding dress...
Take a little time and peruse the costume stores. Victorianesque burlesque is to be
found everywhere, and while I think the look is adorable, it is hardly unique. It
can, however, be adapted however you wish. Just like anything else. One of my
favourites a few years ago, the Gothic circus ringmaster in his top hat and tails.
Reminded me a bit of Mr. Dark from Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes."
As always, the possibilities are endless. So off to the library with you.. or, well,
Firefox or Explorer and Google. Have fun with it, and please.. if you do run with an
idea, by all means.. share photos. I'll post them here for all to see.
Thinking I need to look into that Mrs Lovett outfit again... after all, we will be
having a family Hallowe'en dinner here, I will be cooking.. and we will be having
guests...
Until next,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Silhouettes

2011-10-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

(Photo credit: Country Living Magazine)

Now to a fabulous topic that is actually quite inexpensive and you can personalize it
ANY way you wish. Silhouettes. Silhouettes as forms of personalized artforms,
memorializing loved ones in black on white actually predate the Victorian Era,
however, they have never really lost their popularity and add a brilliant touch to
any Victorian home. In this post I will discuss the use of silhouettes as wall art,
window and mirror art, and provide a link to an amazing artist who has created his
unique form of mildly (by my standards) macabre and gleefully homicidal silhouettes.

Silhouetting is enjoying a great resurgence in the crafting community, which provides
you with countless outlets for just the right images to accent your haunted
Victorianesque home. Traditionally, they are black images on a white background, but
some modifications can be done to accent the colours of your decor by the use of
different coloured frames, or if you create your own silhouette to frame, choose a
background colour that the black will stand out against. Bright purples, reds and
oranges are good choices for Hallowe'en decor, but use caution. With reds and
purples, the darker the hue, the more your black silhouette will seem to fade into
it, losing the striking likes that define it as an artform and make it "pop."
Another great use for silhouetting is becoming more and more prevalent in Hallowe'en
decor. Most of us have already seen the huge sheets of plastic with silhouettes of
hanging victims, monsters, ghosts, etc. Many craft and decor shops also now carry
different cut outs by Martha Stewart that include spiders, witches and ravens. (I bet
you can't guess which I have.) These can easily be incorporated into your
Victorianesque haunted home, but there are a lot of things you can do yourself with a
little time, a pencil, a lamp and some tissue paper.

Using simple black tissue paper such as the kind used for gift wrapping, you can
create silhouettes of yourself (with help, of course) or others, by taping up the
paper against a wall, sitting yourself or your subject in profile directly in front
of it, and casting their, or your, shadow against the paper. Outline the shadow in
pencil and carefully cut out. Using just one sheet of the tissue paper, you are able
to create a shadow of a silhouette that can be discreetly taped in a window to be
viewed from outside. All it takes is a little backlight to make the silhouette stand
out and add to the eerie affect as visitors notice "You" at the front window, with
light coming through. The same can be done with hands, candle sticks and other items
you wish to have appear somewhat ethereal when viewed through your windows. Creating less distinct outlines make great shadow silhouettes to be attached to mirrors. A little creativity and you might create spectres that peek around corners. Just trim a straight vertical edge on your silhouette and then butt the edge up against an inside corner where two walls meet. Shine just enough light toward the corner to reveal the "ghost" without too much full light that will (pun intended) kill the affect.

Now for that last form of silhouette I mentioned: "Killhouettes" by Mesa, AZ artist
John Fair. The name "Killouettes" is a trademarked term, specific to his wonderfully
dark art, and not a genre. I am happy to admit that I have a growing collection, and
have included a link to his site below. Each piece purchased comes embossed with his
official seal, protecting both his investment and his art, as well as guaranteeing to
his many, many fans, that the piece they have purchased whether at a show, a shop or
online, is a genuine, copyrighted John Fair Killhouette.
http://www.killhouettes.com/

And all of that having been said, I am now off to play with a few ideas for
tomorrow's post.

Have a wonderful evening and I hope your October is filled with fine music, dancing
ghosts and the scent of spice and perfume wafting through to wish you a chilly
welcome to Autumn.

Until tomorrow,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Spooky Chic

2011-10-07T19:36:00.002-07:00

"Spooky Chic".. I wish I'd coined this phrase, but sadly, I did not. On the incredibly "up" side, this wonderfully fun style is to be found everywhere and you can even do it yourself.
"Spooky chic" is a great spin on "shabby chic", the phrase used to describe upcycled
and repurposed furniture and other decorative goodies. When one is looking at shabby
chic decor, the first thing that often springs to mind are bits of old furniture it
pastel or white tones with a worn finish. The idea is that the pieces have been saved
and rather than completely refinished, their worn, aged look adds to their charm and
gives their surroundings a certain homey warmth.

Then there is Spooky Chic. Imagine those same worn pieces, but in black, with worn
edges, nicks, scratches, perhaps a drawer pull or handle broken or missing. Maybe it
is a small table. Toss an old lace doily or bit of worn cloth on it with a few
candles, an old oil lamp, a vase of dead flowers, and a skull or two. Now you are on
your way to shabby chic. The idea is that your decor have that "worn" look. And is
that not what we are going for here? Our classy, haunted, somewhat abandoned
Victorianesque home is the perfect setting for the shabby, spooky chic style. Where
else would you find worn, but well dressed bits of furniture and dried bouquets?
As I mentioned above, I did not coin the phrase, and that is very much to your
advantage. Crafting and antique sites (even eBay) are easily searched using this
phrase and will pour forth a plethora of spooky chic decorations, furniture pieces,
paper goods from posters and banners to greeting cards and wearables. We are luckily
in a world FULL of talented crafts with an eye for nostalgia and a gift for making it
spooky. I have featured several artists already whose lovely work does easily fall
into this category and I will continue to do so over time. One of my passions is to
support our artists, both local and abroad. Never let imagination fade.
Now while this is a shorter piece tonight, the purpose was simply to share this fun
genre in art and decor, and to open the creaking wrought iron garden gate and
hopefully nudge a few people through to their search engine or local boutiques and
art fairs. It had occurred to me as I was writing this that the majority of my
suggestions this month will, indeed, fall toward the black-beaded fringe, if not dead
center of the Spooky Chic universe. But that is the beauty of it; Some Victorian can
be Spooky Chic, but not all Spooky Chic has to be Victorian. Much of it has a fun,
Bohemian flair, some looks a bit like the trinket tents at a Dia de Los Muertos
festival, and some resembles a more mid-20th Century retro twist to Hallowe'en. The
idea is that it shows its age and revels in its imperfections.
So now I am off to see what some of my favourite artists have come up with recently.
The office walls are filling fast, but I have no doubt I can find somewhere else to
hang or otherwise display goodies.
Until tomorrow and Happy Hunting,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: String lights

2011-10-07T13:37:00.001-07:00

Definitely NOT just for Christmas and Winter holidays anymore, string lights in their
myriad colours and blinking configurations have become a mainstay year round for
everything from Mardi Gras and garden lighting to our favourite, Hallowe'en. However, they are not just for stringing along the edges of eaves or the trim of a back patio.
So let us get into many of the fun ways you can use blinking and non-blinking lights
of different hues to set the tone for your haunted Victorianesque home without a huge
investment as most home improvement stores are now stocking up on all manner of
colours, lengths and styles at discounts in preparation for the holiday season.

And that brings us back to planning. Do you want a warm glow or a haunting one? How much of your house and landscape do you want to make a part of the show? There are many places you can use your lights, and the trick is to determine where to place them. While string lights are hardly Victorian in the historic sense, they do provide the glow needed for a haunting visual, and can in some cases mimic candle and gaslight. Very victorian.

Tack mini-lights under the eaves of the house or behind the trim of porches todirect the glow down and inward against the house. Yellow or orange lights create a warm, almost surreal atmosphere in the area closest to your "haunted" house as if all eyes are on those at the entrance, blocking the rest of the world out. Purple lights create an even more eerie glow, making darker objects seem to appear more shadow-like.
Line the top of cabinets and shelves with coloured lights to cast their eerie glow upward against ceilings and decor such as plants and pottery, brass and statuettes. This draws the eye upward and brings more of your home into the overall haunted picture.
Unused a/c and heating vents (if you are fortunate enough to have weather that permits NOT using climate control in your home) are great places to bundle small strings of lights. If you are fairly handy with a few basic household tools like a screwdriver and masking tape, remove the grill on horizontally-run ductwork and place a small bundle of lights just inside behind it. Run the plug end out and reattach the grate but do not screw back in tightly so as not to damage the cord. Leave enough out to run an extension cord from the vent to the nearest outlet. These days cords and masking tape come in many different colours, making it easier to blend. Silk vines can also be looped around the cords from the corner of the vent to near outlets (but not against them) to give the appearance of growth invading the inside of your old haunted home.
Glowing shrubbery and vines: Many party and holiday decorating retailers carry a wide variety of "eyes" that light up and can be placed in shrubs around the house. An alternative is to use string lights, buried under the foliage to give a glow, and if placed creatively, the look of many small pairs of eyes peering out at visitors.
Hallowe'en trees: Need I say more? Alright, I will. As mentioned in an earlier post, you can create your own barren tree, centerpieces and ornamentation from dead branches. String lights are the perfect accent to bring your tree "to life"..so to speak. A small strand loosely strung over a tabletop mini-tree or strung through the branches of a 6'-7' room enhancer cast lovely shadows on the wall as the clawlike branches get in the way of the glow. Choose colours that contrast with the colour of your walls. This will accentuate the shadows and add an air of surreality to the room.
String lights are also wonderful along floorboards and can be secured in place easily with scotch tape, but be careful not to use in higher traffic area or if you feel your pets will get the overwhelming urge to munch and self-electrocute. They may intend to munch, but I assure you, the electrocution will come as a complete surprise (I chose to take the high road and not say "shock"). Lighting along baseboards, much like lighting along shelving, creates a nice backsplash of light in whichever colour you choose and illuminates the house itself, bringing the whole place into the picture.
Exterior Graveyards: Now honestly, who does NOT have a graveyard outside their haunted home this time of year? Add a few loose leaves on the ground (not that difficult considering the season) with a string or three trailing between the stones, closest to the base of the more ornate ones to cast their light upward. If you use ornate fencing around your boneyard, loosely drape a few lights along the top. Guaranteed the shadows they cast will dance gleefully in a soft Autumn breeze.
Drape string lights over or around portraits of dearly departed relatives. It is a way to bring them into the celebration and honour their memory at the same time. If you traditionally do an altar or choose to do some form of homage to honour them, string lights are a wonderful way of accenting the entire creation and can be left on over night. While most altars include the use of candles, it is never safe to leave them burning. More recent string lights are made to stay cool, and if used with caution (never place bulb against anything, least of all anything flammable, and keep plugs where they will remain undisturbed), the lights can be left on all evening or possibly overnight until November 1st.

I will spare you all of the obvious places (along walkways, etc), but these are a few
of the ideas you can add to your haunted house to add to its glow. Unlike Christmas
decor, we are not looking to create the illusion of glistening snow and icecicles.
The idea is to bring the house to it's own illuminated, haunting life, and your
choice of colours will create just the ambience you are looking for.

I do hope to hear about some of the ideas used and how it worked out for you. Now I'm off to find more lights.

Until next,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Music

2011-10-06T23:28:00.003-07:00

First off, allow me to begin with an apology. Due to system issues, I was unable to post yesterday's piece. So here it is:
As we all know, a huge part of Hallowe'en is the music. Every good holiday and celebration deserves a soundtrack. There are many different approaches to, and reasons for, good music. Just as there are many different types of music we all enjoy this time of year.

There are the classics: Monster Mash, Thriller (yes, it's a classic in my opinion), Werewolves of London (A personal favourite), Black Magic Woman, Witchy Woman (Seeing a theme here?), I Put A Spell On You (again... Favourite), The Raven, Bad Moon Rising, I'm Your Boogie Man, Welcome to My Nightmare, Tocatta and Fugue, etc, ad infinitum. Then there are the newer classics, those wonderfully haunting bits of ambient music using the old sounds and familiar goosebump-inducing tones that we have all come to love. Nox Arcana and Midnight Syndicate rule the night in this category. At least for me and many who have shared their suggestions for good Hallowe'en mood music.
Now comes my favourite choice for a haunted Victorianesque soundtrack: Period pieces from classical to very early 20th century music, played low in the background and wafting through the house. Remember in a prior post when I spoke of the creepy old house at the end of the street or the edge of town. That old Victorian may have been built in the 1800s, but stood the test of time until the 20th century when through misfortune or neglect, it came to sit empty with only its memories. Like Rose Red and her fond memories of Pennsylvania 6-5000, the old haunted house recalls the days of old radio shows and the music hour in the evenings, of Victrolas spinning heavy, one-sided wax recordings. Something about the crackling strain of strings or singing lends a nostalgic air to the music.
Old blues, early big band, gospel, harpsicord, classical and opera make for wonderful background music, and even if you do not have a Victrola or old radio, playing your music low in a back area with hard walls or floors (tile, wood, etc), will guarantee to bounce the music through your haunted home at just the right level so as to give the impression that the house is humming a tune to itself or some discarnate spectre is listening to his or her favourite tunes without realization that anyone else is around.
If this idea appeals to you, try loading some songs to an iPod or other MP3 player then hooking it up to a small speaker or set of speakers, then aim them in opposite directions. Experiment with songs, sounds and locations.
And now I'm off to wake the dancing spectres in the back dining room and find out what they did with my records.
Please let me know what you come up with, and share ANY ideas for music that you use for your own haunted Victorianesque home.
Blessings,
Raven

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: All Hallow's Tree

2011-10-04T19:51:00.003-07:00

Considering we are going for Victorian-"esque" rather than straight historically Victorian themes for our Hallowe'en, we are most assuredly allowed a wide swath of artistic license. In this case, we will borrow from one of the most well-known images of the Holiday Season, the Christmas Tree. However, we are going to borrow the usual corner of the Christmas-celebrant's house for this less-fluffy, and in my opinion, more striking, aesthetically pleasing reminder of those sentinels of the end of Autumn, the barren tree.

It comes as no small surprise that this trend is catching on, at least on a somewhat smaller scale as greeting card shops, party stores and holiday retailers now feature everything from desktop Easter trees, to black, red, pink, blue and silver trees for whichever holiday their patrons can dream up. Thanks to the brilliance of the not-so-Victorian internet, one can shop year round for artificial trees of all shapes, sizes and colours to suit their fancy. For the sake of this piece, I am going to resort to less retail means in the pursuit of a lovely, leaf/needleless tree to stand (or lean) majestically in that magical corner as a centerpiece of your Victorianesque Hallowe'en.

All one really needs are the following:

One or several barren, dead tree branches (number and length to suit desired tree size)
Matte black paint or dark spray stain
Hemp rope or black duct tape to bind multiple branches
Christmas tree stand or planter/vase/container large and formidable to support the new "tree"

After locating your ideal branches, strip any leftover leaves, needles or small twigs. Using a garden hose (for large trees), spray down branches to remove dirt, sand, bugs, etc. and allow to dry overnight. Once your branch(es) are dry, spray or brush paint with the matte black or dark stain. If using multiple branches, align to get the look you want from your tree and wrap and bind at the "trunk" in several places as necessary. Paint bindings as well to match. Allow tree to dry overnight again.
At this point, like any other holiday tree, it can be held in place using the tree stand, or if using a large planter or heavy pot, set in place and surround base with sand, gravel or large stones.
Using this same formula and smaller branches or decorative twigs (either harvested from the garden or your neighborhood craft store) it is very easy to create mini-Hallowe'en trees for centerpieces, side tables, window sills, anywhere you wish to have a small reminder of the season and the ominous look of its barren trees.
Trees can be decorated to suit your taste. Use lights, tie bows from seasonal ribbons in orange, black or purple, or hang small tea light holders. Many craft and import stores have begun carrying Hallowe'en ornaments, from small glass orbs in All Hallow's colours, to figures of black cats, witches, ghosts, and on and on.
As you decorate your tree, envision the scary tree limbs of old movies that terrified the inhabitants of big scary houses by scratching windows, tapping on the glass and casting their eerie shadow like spectres' fingers into a poorly-lit bedroom.
I like to perch small black birds or hang silhouettes of ravens, bats and spiders from mine. (I will post photos once I get a chance.)
So there you have it. Rather than compost, a centerpiece or conversation starter for the living or family room. Like most other things posted this month, this same bit of decor can be easily changed up after or instead of (perish the thought) Hallowe'en for more personalized touches to your home. Add a few Autumn leaves, a bit of organza ribbon in burnt reds, siennas, golds and oranges, and loosely string white or pale yellow lights for nice inviting glow.
Now I am off to do a bit more tree-trimming. Hope the neighbors don't mind.
Until tomorrow,
Raven =)

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Fabrics

2011-10-03T19:58:00.002-07:00

Now we get into a topic that really does have infinite possibilities and does not
have to break the bank. One of the most iconic symbols of Victorian decor is its
fabrics and their patterns. As wallpaper, room dividers, window treatments, draft
excluding bed decor and table coverings, fabrics in rich colours, detailed
ornamentation and flowing textures define much of what is seen as Victorian.
Plainer fabrics such as muslins and linens also play a huge part in depicting the
crisp, white, immaculate standards of "better" Victorian households. They also play a
huge role in defining our somewhat-romanticized, yet wonderfully decayed
Victorianesque Haunted Home.

Some quick and inexpensive uses of fabric for your haunted home:

White/off-white/creme/ecru bed linens draped over furniture to give the feeling of a home "asleep"
Black, grey, grey-green, sand, white coloured gauze in lengths of 48 inches or more as table coverings, window coverings, room dividers. The more tattered, the better.
Antique doilies, crocheted table runners, table linens to accent your tarnished silver and brass. When used on a dark wood surface, they really make any Hallowe'en haunted setting stand out with just the right sepia-toned contrast.
Lace in white, off-white, black and tea-stained also work wonderfully when draped over coat racks and hooks, window rods, dressmakers' forms, etc. Lace is easily associated with veils. Random drapings in your haunted home give a feeling of Victorian brides of tragic circumstances or reminiscing about past loves. Almost sad, almost happy, certainly haunting. When hung on a piece of furniture directly in front of a fan or vent, the fabric will softly billow, adding to the effect.
Black fabrics in softer, more easily draping textures are perfect for using on mirrors (Think Victorian mourning customs), and when fastened with a white silk rose or other large single bloom, they stand out as hauntingly brilliant.
Brocades, jaquards, etc are wonderful bed throws or good accent covers for futons and other modern furniture as well as make-shift curtains when draped scarf-style over curtain rods.

These are just a few ideas for fabrics that will add to your Victorianesque haunted
home. Many can be found at reasonable prices through fabric outlets and thrift stores
(Old curtain sheers, linens for furniture covers, etc.) and are easily folded and
stored or used to wrap breakable Autumn and Hallowe'en decor.
The only limit is your imagination. So make your list of where you can use your
fabrics, and do not be surprised if you find something "just perfect" for something
else. Happens to me alllll the time.
Until tomorrow,
Raven

A Season for Compassion, Not Drama

2011-10-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

The inspiration for this topic isincredibly well-timed. We are now through the door

into the Holiday Season. This is thetime of year when emotions run higher than most

other times of the year, whenself-imposed expectations become unreasonably and

impossibly high and when the linebetween drama and someone truly needing a moment of compassion from friends and relativesbecomes annoyingly obscured.

The reason I post this to the EVGA blogis simple. As implied by the title, Victorian

Goths are ideally, well-versed incarrying themselves with composure, dealing with

challenges with grace and would ratherlose a limb than become drama queens. They and other old school Goths are also, in myexperience, some of the most discerning

individuals when it comes todetermining to whom they will lend an ear or shoulder

and to whom this act is just enabling alarger problem. Frankly, being a member of a

subculture lends itself quite naturallyto challenges and trouble. This makes it

necessary to know which is a realproblem and which is an attention-grabbing ploy. I am not, however,minimizing how much it happens in other sectors of society.

Using that ideal as the foundation, Ihope to help illuminate the difference between

someone who lives for/conjures/tossesthemselves into.. Drama.

A few simple guidelines to begin with:

EVERYONE has challenges in their life.

The individual needing compassion simply seeks to talk through the problem with a trusted friend or professionalin order to know they are not alone, and to sort out a solution.

The individual needing compassion will learn from their situation and will only mention a past challenge as anexample to help someone else going through a similar problem.

The drama queen will tell every living soul within ear/eye shot (FB, Twitter, Myspace, etc.) about their problemand acknowledges only the sympathy, leaving suggestions or constructive inputunheeded.

The drama queen will also find a way to relate EVERY situation, theirs or others', to the current focus oftheir drama. This allows for a larger captive audience and additional attention bybringing it back to the surface.

Anyone who knows me, knows I have notolerance for drama. I know many of you don't either, and I certainly do not blameyou in the least. What has come to concern me more recently, however, is a widespread"need" to categorize everything quickly, using generalizations which leads toany expression of a need to talk, or a “hard day” to immediatelybe dismissed as drama. Hence the reason for this post.

And on to theinspiration for this topic. During a very recentconversation, an friend going through a very rough time contacted me, not to vent, but tosort out a situation. An old friend of hers had been in constant use of hershoulder, but had no ear to lend in return, informing her that theyhad no time for “drama”. I have heard about this happening moreand more lately, and had gone through it myself more than a few timesin the past.

My concern is that this is what leadsmost people to generalize and simply shut down.

The grace and good heart of my friendkept her from shutting down and becoming one of those people whostopped listening to others altogether, but finding a way to addressthe situation was her most pressing challenge at the moment.

Now to my request:

If someone you know comes to you for anear, take a moment to actually hear them. Use your own common sense to recognize ifthis is a song you have heard a thousand times before (Well, maybe I exaggerate just abit, but it often feels like it, no?). If it is, then you know it is drama and Ihave no doubt you have a way to excuse yourself from the conversation and distanceyourself from the situation altogether. If it is not, consider the fact that your friendor acquaintance may truly need an ear, an opportunity to sound things out, andmay well be open to your thoughts, your advice, or, quite possibly.. your silentempathy. Yes, there are many situations where someone simply needs an ear and achance to hear themselves sound it out. They don't always need someone telling them how tofix things. It is just a matter of knowing they are not alone.

With a little thought, a bit of commonsense and a good heart, we can disable drama

without overlooking those who trulyneed a moment with someone who cares. Not

everyone with a problem is a dramaqueen or king.

Oh, and for those who have reached out,been listened to, and had someone show they

care, while it is not/should never be,a situation of a "favour owed".. remember the

kindness showed you. Be there when theyneed an ear or shoulder as well.

And with all of that said, I wish youall a Delightful Holiday Season.

Raven Sexton

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: Old Silver and Candlesticks

2011-10-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

Part of the charm of a Victorianesque Hallowe'en is collecting all the little
trinkets that will help set the mood. Before the use of spider webs and eerie
lighting, it is necessary to have the objects to wrap them around or upon which to
cast them.

While the late Victorian Era was well-known for its gaslamp ambience (and who doesn't LOVE the imagery of tall, wrought iron lamps lining cobblestone streets, casting their dancing glow on the stone of old buildings), candles and oil were the primary means for lighting one's way after dusk. One of my favourite accessories for Hallowe'en decorating is the brass candlestick. They come in many shapes and sizes, as do their cousins, the wooden candlestick and the oil lamp. These little gems can be found in nearly any thrift store, and often at yard/tag/garage/estate sales for a
very reasonable price.
While you peruse your local recycling shop and donation center, keep an eye out for
another great little piece of decor that can be just as functional as it is
decorative: The silver (often plated) serving tray. Some come with wooden bits, or even glass, but it is the silver or silver-plating you really want to keep an eye out for. And don't worry if it is slightly damaged. After all, that only adds to your Hallowe'en feeling. (The photo below shows just a few of the pieces I have picked up over the years.)

The uses for these pieces are unlimited. Trays can be used for holding pillar
candles, dried blooms, bits of coloured glass or just about anything you can conjure
up. A nice one, lined with a black napkin or doily, can be used to serve sweets and
snacks. Propped up at the edge of a counter or wall-side table, a lovely, tarnished
silver tray serves as the perfect backdrop to small displays of flowers or candles,
reflecting the soft glow and drawing a bit more attention to your hard work more than
without it.
Candlesticks are fantastic for centerpieces or adding a little light high on shelves
or in dark corners (unless you like your corners dark, and honestly..who doesn't?). A
spooky Autumn wreath can serve as a great centerpiece on a large table when laid in
the middle with a small assortment of candlesticks of different heights. A small
touch of spiderwebbing can be stretched from sticks to the edges of the wreath for an
extra abandoned, haunting effect, but be very careful if using real candles as
webbing is flammable.
I will mention candlesticks several times in posts for the rest of this month as I go
into the use of other design elements. They are JUST that versatile and can be used
and decorated in so many ways. So while you're out running your errands, drop into a
thrift or resell store and see what catches your eye. If you have walked your house
and begun to consider all the places you can decorate, take a moment to consider
which areas would benefit from a well-placed candlestick or three, and a little
silver tray.
One thing to keep in mind as you acquire your treasures and take them home, eager to
find just the right spot for them: Do NOT polish them. Your haunted Victorianesque
home wants to "keep it real" and the last time I checked, ghosts do not polish silver
or do windows. I know this is probably very bad on my part, but the two weeks before
Hallowe'en give most of us the best excuse to keep certain household chores to a
minimum. Go crazy with the polish and Swiffer on November first, but I assure you,
your guests, both living and .. well.. corporeally-challenged, will thank you for the
quiet charm of tarnished brass and silver.
As an aside: You may also come across other bits and pieces that will go beautifully
with your Victorianesque decor. I stumbled across a wonderful glass juice carafe with
the most ornate silver handle and stopper years back. It is now my favourite piece
for serving warm mulled wine (never mind that it looks like blood, but smells like
heaven). Some of my favourite places to find these goodies are places like Goodwill
and local charity thrift shops. Not only does one find great pieces that can actually
be displayed year round as well as being part of the highlight of a Victorianesque
Hallowe'en, it serves a greater cause, helping fund charitable works, providing jobs
and keeping hard-earned money in the local economies.
All of that said, I am off to replenish my mulling supplies. Until tomorrow... Hope
your October is off to a wonderful start.
Ever,
Raven =)

A Victorianesque Hallowe'en: An Introduction

2011-10-01T12:22:00.002-07:00

Happy October 1st!

I figured that as we get started on designing a Victorianesque Hallowe'en, it would

be helpful to outline a few things. Hopefully, that will make it easier for anyone

embarking on this lovely, spooky adventure to achieve the dark Victorian affect in

their own unique way, rather than being frustrated by not "matching the photo".

Hallowe'en (or All Hallow's Eve) is much like any other holiday in that decor can be

themed to suit personal tastes. Some families with small children will stick with a

"cute" Hallowe'en featuring cartoony cat photos, smiling jack-o-lanterns and all of

the traditional imagery that helps their children get into the spooky mood without

being too scary, while keeping it fun on a toddler's or young child's level. Others

love their gore and screamfests. Zombies are completely in fashion these days, so

it's not difficult to find events, props and costumes that focus more on the fear of

flesh-eating, formerly alive individuals that now threaten to stalk us. Gore is all

the rage and even zombie babies have entered in the scene with little heads spinning

360 degrees and throwing tantrums in the prop stores, just waiting to go home with

someone as their newest grey-green bundle of joy and mahem.

And then there is our style: A Dark Victorian Hallowe'en. The beauty of any "style"

is that it is only limited by the imagination of the decorator. That being said,

allow me to lay a little groundwork. When we think Victorian, we envision huge,

turretted and gabled houses with lacy curtains in windows and deep porches with

wicker furniture or swings and three or four steps up from the front walk. At

Hallowe'en we think of these same homes in their haunted state. When we were all

kids, the best ghost stories included the obligatory abandoned/creepy old house at

the end of the street or the edge of town. It had been "grand in its day" and the

last living inhabitant had usually been some grey haired little old lady in long

skirts and her hair in a bun. The older kids would tell the younger ones to look in

the windows and they would find her looking down at them, watching everything they

do.

Stop for a moment and think about the attributes of this imagery. Which things stand

out? Here are a few: Tattered curtains billowing in the evening breeze, dust on dark

wood antique table tops and yellowing fine lace doilies, tarnished silver candlesticks and unused ornate serving spoons, spider webs in the corners of doorways and music from a long-gone time wafting down staircases or up from cellars. One of my favourite images is of leaves blown across the old porch, collecting in corners and dancing in small swirls as if following the footsteps of some unseen visitor approaching the door.

The appeal of a Victorianesque Hallowe'en lies in the racing heartbeat that

accompanies a realization that we are not alone. There is a sentimental attraction to

an old place with many memories of its own. We can imagine ourselves standing in the

middle of this house, envisioning what it was like in its heyday. We are drawn into

the allure of a puzzle unsolved, or a secret untold. "Who lived here?", "How did they

die?", "Why are they trapped here?", "What horrors went on behind the civilized,

ornate exterior?"

Now your homework is this: Make a list of those attributes that seem most "haunted

house" to you. Walk through your home, AND your yard (I will be posting a few ideas

for there, too, aside from cemeteries). Consider the rooms where you wish to add a

little haunting. Envision your finery after sitting lonely for about 50 years or so.

Will there be cobwebs? Old papers lying about? Disheveled or tattered table linens,

old photos, broken picture frames? Worn curtains and dead plants?

As we move through the month of October I will list suggestions for many of these

things. Knowing most of us are on a tight budget, gearing up for the Winter holidays

and simply taking care of daily obligations, I will try to include as many

suggestions as possible for inexpensive supplies and even things you may already own

and had written off as junk.

You may also notice as we go, that many decorating suggestions are multi-purpose. Or

at least that is the intention. So many of the things we can use to decorate for

"spooky" effect are also easily adapted to be Autumn decor that can carry on through

the season, giving your home and garden a warm, inviting ambience.

I hope this helps to set the mood for your Victorian Hallowe'en preparations. Now I am

off to try out a few ideas before committing them to print, so check back each

evening and I should have something new to share. Remember to haunt your Victorian

Hallowe'en house with a sentimental eye, and perhaps the ghost of that darling little

old lady will sit down to a fine cup of tea or a glass of sherry with you, and share

stories of what it was like in her day.

Above all.. have fun with it. Happy Autumn Blessings to All and Welcome to October!!

Ever,

Raven Sexton

Etsy Treasuries - Another of Raven's New Addictions

2011-09-25T16:39:00.001-07:00

As a follow up to today's fun time on BlogTalkRadio with Oly and Brenna discussing Victorianesque Hallowe'en, I thought I'd attempt to post a quick link to three treasures I've created featuring just SOME of the talented individuals to be found on the craft sales site, Etsy.com. No promises here, but the link below "should" take you to a listing of all three and allow you to check out just some of the fun things I've found (so far) that go perfectly with the idea of a Victorianesque Hallowe'en, or for some of us of the Victorian Gothic persuasion, year-round decor.

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/search/?search_query=stoneangelsgaze&search_submit=&search_type=treasury

This will be one of, I hope, many posts to the EVGA blog featuring Victorianesque Hallowe'en and Autumn decorating, entertaining and costuming ideas, in addition to my usual articles on the foundations of the refined Dark Victorian's etiquette and carriage, as well as the individual artist reviews I so thoroughly enjoy doing.
And finally, to everyone who listened in both live and via recorded podcast, thank you SO much.

Ever,
Raven

A Big Thanks to The Weird Contessa

2011-09-14T18:36:00.002-07:00

So.. as I am learning more about this thing called blogging, I added one more "A Ha" moment to my repetoire.. finding out how others found me. Yes, I am without a doubt the world's worst cyber-stalker.
Imagine my surprise and delight to find that Etiquette and the Victorian Aesthetic is among the blogs enjoyed by Gina Draker, the brilliant talent behind Weird Contessa Studios. The moment I found her blog, I was entranced by the first images to appear: miniature marionettes. The detail and care that goes into her pieces is quite obvious, and I must say, her taste in music featured on the pages of Weird Contessa Studio Creations is impeccable. I loved it.
That said, I wish to extend a huge Thank You to the Weird Contessa (Who doesn't adore weird contessas? The world needs more of them.) for the mention on your site, and I extend an invitation to all reading this, to please go visit her blog and indulge yourself in her delightful creations and let the music take you away as it has done with me this evening.

She can be found at: http://weirdcontessastudiocreations.blogspot.com/

I know I will be going back to visit as well.
Blessings and Welcome to another brilliantly decadent Hallowe'en Season =)
Ever,
Raven

Fun News and the Beginning of a Victorian Hallowe'en Season

2011-09-10T23:38:00.000-07:00

I have had the pleasure of being invited back to BlogTalkRadio as a guest on "Coffee With Oly and Brenna Mar" Sunday, September 25th. My last visit with Oly was last December when we had a wonderful chat about the Goth and Vampire communities. For all the years I have known her, Oly has been a voice of reason, a teacher, and a leader in the pagan and metaphysical communities with first hand knowledge of our fabulously dark, colourful, artistic world and its amazing people.
This time we are going to have fun discussing a Victorianesque Hallowe'en. I will be sharing a bit of history, plus decorating and costuming ideas as well as shortcuts for those of us on a budget (and who isn't these days?). With any luck, I will be able to start posting some of those suggestions and site links to the blog before the show on 9/25 with additional goodies to come afterward.
I am including a link to the show's announcement via BTR, and do hope you can join us, and for those whose schedules do not permit, BTR does archive shows to be listened to later. Please also take a moment to check out Oly's website just below.

Show link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/olympias/2011/09/25/coffee-with-oly-brenna-mar

For more information on my esteemed hostess, please take a moment to visit her site:
http://www.tarotbyolympias.com/

So now to start the TO DO list, the How To list and find the Already Have list to add to. Stay tuned...

Ever,
Raven =)

Well-Mannered Bad Boys

2011-09-05T00:34:00.002-07:00

As much of an oxymoron as the title may seem, bad boys with impeccable manners tend to be some of the defining personalities of the Victorian Gothic genre. And with very good reason. Allow me to explain.

In this day and age when someone refers to "bad boys" the immediate image that springs to mind is the quintessential rabble rouser, the anarchist. The extroverted, opinionated anti-everything, leatherclad devil-may-care instigator that shakes things up and makes huge waves. Or as I have often referred to them, most affectionately... The Rebel Without a Clue. These paragons of testosterone most assuredly have their appeal in a somewhat superficially feral way. For many, they represent that aspect of ourselves that needs to speak up, slap someone back to reality and shatter the rafters to make our point. But even the most diehard bad boy groupies soon tire of their 24-hour-a-day predictability.
Enter our iconic gentlemen in vest and waistcoat. I am quite certain that upon reading the title of this piece, if one stopped to think about it, the first individual to spring to mind is our own Prince of the Immortals, Vlad Dracula. With a little more thought, it would not take much to recognize this archetype many places in print and film, and to recognize that slight flutter of excitement at the mere thought of these paragons of brilliantly controlled danger.
A large part of the appeal lies in the obvious confidence exuded by someone who does not exhibit the usual signs of insecurity such as the constant need to look down his nose at others, to proclaim himself as anything other than himself, and even then to proclaim himself at all, to tell others how he is polite (or dangerous), or seek the approval and adoration of those around him by comparing himself to kings, killers and other symbols of benevolent or malicious power. Our bad boy exudes a quiet self-assurance and nobility that dictates that he hold himself to a strict code of conduct. He knows his inner beast well, has embraced it, and does not let it rule him. He coexists with it quite well. He would never be the rude host or guest, maintaining an even, intellectual and balanced demeanor.
A lot of thought is not required to sense the many facets of our gentlemen. At a obvious level he appeals to our refined side: that sense of civility and order that both comforts and attracts. He also appeals to our more feral nature, as the glimpses of the beast within can be glimpsed just beneath the surface. Please note that I did not refer to a "veneer" as his courtly, gentlemanly behaviour is sincere and in holding with his own self-imposed standards.I tend to think it is that sincerity that only adds to his power and allure. He does not second guess or worry what others will think.
The difference between our VG "Bad Boy" and our historic hero (Please see the many wonderful YouTube vids of men in period film) is an incredibly thin line. While his own brand of evil is formidable, and the elocution of his plans is nearly always flawless, unlike a James Bond bad guy, our VG villain has a back history steeped in passion and pain. He becomes a somewhat sympathetic villain and the observer finds they wish either to emulate him, or fall victim to him. Very often, his allure to women comes at a more complicated cost. There is a priceless sense of accomplishment that comes with being the love interest or "weakness" of a man like this. The wise woman is a good match for him, respecting who and what he is, never dreaming of exploiting her power over him. The unwise female quickly becomes the subject of ghost stories and less than a fleeting memory for our anti-hero.
And even though I could probably go on for chapters on this topic, I will give my rambling a rest and leave it to each of you. Who is YOUR favourite Well-Mannered Bad Boy? Do share.. I would love to hear.

Until next... Happy Pondering...

Raven

A Matter of Time and Place

2011-08-23T16:37:00.002-07:00

I am going to switch gears here for a bit and discuss something that begins as good
etiquette but is also a huge indicator of an individual's posession of common sense
and understanding of that big word, Respect.
Quite frankly, there is a time and a place for certain behaviours, and most
certainly, for divulging certain bits of information, especially about someone else.

I bring this up for two reasons. One being a recent concern voiced that certain
aspects of someone's personality be left out of general conversation, that they are
no one's business, except those this individual chose to share them with. I
completely agree. Second being a situation I observe all too often: The need for
women in pairs or groups, to show their "girl power" by man-bashing or divulging
their men's secrets as some odd show of power. Now before anyone gets their bloomers
in a fluff, I wholeheartedly acknowledge that men do this too, but in this day and
age, men can be burned at the stake for it, while women are told "You go girl!" and
patted on the back as being "empowered." Bit of a double-standard, don't you think?
So what does this have to do with Victorian etiquette or the aesthetic? It is not
exclusive to the Victorian Era, although when I have spoken about it in the past, I
have quite literally been blasted with "So women are supposed to just stay quiet?
That's backward Victorian thinking." Needless to say, I smiled a moment before
responding. No one said for women to stay quiet. We know this is a genetic
impossibility. However, the idea of discretion on the part of a Victorian woman
actually comes from the belief in honouring one's spouse or significant other. Just
as men of good etiquette and breeding did not debase their women by speaking about
them in public houses (bars) as a sign of respect, women displayed respect for their
spouses by either being supportive (when they agreed) or being silent (when they did
not). This also showed self-respect by not making an unnecessary scene and coming off
as a harpie.
These days it has become common practice for women to exhibit their "independence"
from men by talking down about or to their significant others, spouse or otherwise,
in front of their friends and/or his friends. Another common practice is to divulge
his "little secrets" in these group settings as some irrational display of "look how
well I know him.. he's all mine and aren't we cute together." A little reality check
here.. it does not make a woman look strong, look good, look independent or look
smart. It creates the obvious air of awkwardness for everyone and usually
accomplishes at least one of two things: 1. Makes her appear insecure, attention-
mongering and disrespectful, and 2. Makes his friends (and possibly hers) wonder why
he is with her. Unless he is known to be the charitable type.
In healthy relationships, both partners need their "guys" or "girls" time, and during
that time the relationship is in no way in jeopardy because of it. They do not act
with their friends they way they act with their partners, and the stability of a good
relationship is simply a part of who they are, but should not be a neon sign affixed
to their foreheads. Respect it. If you are with them around their friends, this does
not open the door to drag these innocent bystanders into your relationship issues or
secrets. Their entire identity is not wrapped up in who they are with you. And it is
not always about you. (Yes, I will be writing about this soon, too, by request)
The first rule of self-respect: You are whole and a functioning individual long
before entering into a relationship or even a friendship (many of these guidelines do
apply to friendship secrets as well). While it may feel a partner "completes" you,
there is a fine line between the way they complement (not to be confused with sweet
words and "compliment") you, and outright neediness and co-dependence. If your self-
identity lies in putting yourself above your partner, it is time for some deep self-
examination.
Now am I saying to avoid PDA? That depends on the couple. Some are not comfortable with public displays of affection, some with a little and some.. well.. honestly, let's leave the exhibitionists out of this. That's a whole different level of TMI.
Again, respect each other. And know that to receive respect, you need to show it. No
one has the right to demand respectful treatment from a significant others they have
made a point of publicly or privately disrespecting. Those things he divulges to you
in private were told to you in that setting for a reason. They are private. It is a
matter of trust and I'd say it's pretty common knowledge that friendships and
relationships rise and fall on the matter of trust.
Now does this only apply to partners' and friends' secrets? No. But like "Choosing
battles wisely".. that is a topic for another day. So now that I have addressed, in
part, the "E" in "EVGA", I will leave you with a tried and true cliche'.."Do unto
others as you would have them do unto you." There is a lot of merit to that old
saying.
Until next.. Respectfully,
Raven

The Impact of German Expressionism on the Gothic Aesthetic-An Opinion

2011-08-22T00:36:00.002-07:00

I have to admit I was a bit surprised when a dear friend asked me to write about the
impact German Expressionism has had on the Gothic aesthetic. His exact words. It took
less than a moment for me to jump at the chance, as much of the mysterious
romanticism many Goths embody and cherish in music and film was fostered and nurtured by the shadowy, silent, dream-like imagery of early German films. Please allow me to explain.

However, before I do, indulge me a short caveat if you will. I do not write this as
any type of seasoned film critic or student of cinematic form or history. As a lover
of old music, old film and old photography, allow me to begin by pointing out the
obvious: there is something already innately supernatural about listening to old
recordings and watching old films and sharing one's living space with the visages and
voices of those who have been dead for decades. It becomes almost a passive form of
necromancy each time we bring James Stewart (Alfred Hitchcock), Max Schreck (F.W. Murnau) or Julian West (Carl Dreyer) back from the archives to escort us to the dark and sinister worlds created by those who directed them. One has to wonder.. Is it truly so easy to open that portal between the past and the present by simply clicking "Play" ? The truth.. Yes. And that being said, I press on.
The primary brilliant truth about early German Expressionist filmmaking lies in the
fact that their lack of Hollywood budgets moved their hands to more artistic means to
convey stories. The use of lighting, placement, actors' focused expressions and
drawn-out timing served to draw the audience in visually and cerebrally, engaging
their imaginations rather than spoonfeeding them the storyline through the use of
lavish sets and excessive dialogue. Sets could be completely unrealistic,
overexaggerated or out of scale which reminded the viewer that they were an observer
in another world. There was a brilliant lack of dialogue, requiring the viewer to
observe closely, taking account of the slightest details and nuances, as if standing
beside the characters, working out the same puzzles. Even the shaky frames of
handcrank cameras provided an illusion much like a flipbook of ragged old world
photos. A favourite method many of us remember from films like Nosferatu (1922), is
the dramatic use of the contracting and expanding iris of a camera lens to convey
transition between scenes or to imply a dark and grisly outcome through the illusion
of a blinking eye. The iris effect is used to different degrees in many of these
films, lending a darker, ominous effect to scenes filmed out of necessity during
daylight hours. These effects were the precursors to the film noir genre that would
take root in Hollywood and captivate countless generations to come.
So what does any of this have to do with the gothic aesthetic? I will attempt to
answer that in two parts: The Gothic Aesthetic, and the Victorian Gothic Aesthetic.
The Gothic Aesthetic: German Expressionism was one of the largest influences on
iconic directors such as Alfred Hitchcock, Otto Preminger and Orson Welles. Carl
Laemmle's Phantom of the Opera with Lon Chaney, set the groundwork for horror films, and branded the psyches of movie-goers around the world. The stark contrasts in black and white complemented and justified the melodramatic acting that would evoke a passionate reaction in viewers. The Gothic culture's ability to peer into the superstitions and dark psyches of antagonists and protagonists alike is fed by these films. One look at many Goth music videos illustrates perfectly just how deeply these old films have engrained themselves in the Gothic mentality with beautiful outcome.
The Gothic Victorian Aesthetic: In addition to the above, I have to reiterate the use
of surrealist sets (modern reference: Tim Burton), visual cues and storylines that
integrate a long, unflinching look into the very fine line between human beings as
civilized, somewhat-controlled beings and the feral beasts that lie just beneath the
skin's surface. These same themes are evident in the works of Victorian writers such
as our own hometown boy, E.A. Poe, Stoker and even Conan-Doyle. (Yes, Sherlock Holmes is an amazing study in the darker side of the civilized Victorian.. see: The Creeping Man)
In a not-so-small nutshell, German Expressionism's influence and impact on the Gothic
aesthetic was a form of dream-like visual storytelling that integrated imagination,
abstract thought, ancient superstition, and passionate acknowledgement of the duality
of mankind in such a way that intoxicates and haunts. It has created a lineage that
serves to both illustrate and inspire the mentality and sentiments of an entire
black-clad, joyfully-macabre, uber-realistic yet dreamy culture. Without these under
-budgeted, wonderfully-creative pioneers, who knows how the foundations of our
culture's own expressionism would appear.

Come and Shop with Me: Rustic Goth

2011-08-16T22:14:00.000-07:00

Who says Victorian art consists predominantly of still life fruitbowls, flowers
spilling over Greco-Roman urns and paintings of fox hunts? I remember when I first
considered featuring artists here on the EVGA blog, I got a lot of responses asking
"How are fruit and flowers Gothic?" and "What's so Goth about fox hunts unless the
riders are headless or it shows the dogs taking down the fox?"
Ok, I have to admit, the second one made me smile just a bit, so I do hope one day I
will find an artist with that same vision. I would most definitely need to feature
their work, then ring up my friend and politely say "SEEE???"
But I digress. When it comes to Victorian Gothic artwork, be it wall art, statuary or
the occasional desktop trinket, I find that everything from upcycled goodies with a
dark shabby chic flair, to folk art with a darker skew can be perfectly Victorian,
especially when the figures are standing next to gas lamps or wearing lovely long
black gowns. It is never about mimicking the style of artwork turned out during the
Victorian period, although I have seen some brilliant attempts. In my eyes, it is
about artists expressing their own style with a Victorian influence, whether it is in
the characters, the imagery or includes influence from Victorian period literature,
just about anything can fit the bill nicely with just a bit of imagination and a love
for the genre.
In this feature, I am thrilled to present the work of the lovely Charlene and her
Rustic Goth artwork. As always, it took me forever to narrow down the number of
pieces to include on the EVGA blog. I prefer to let visitors go enjoy the artists'
original Etsy shops and websites, perusing at their own speed and having the same bit
of fun I have.
So to begin...one of the many reasons why I requested her permission to feature
Rustic Goth was because of the story Charlene tells on her Etsy site. I will leave
that bit of reading to her visitors, but in reading it for myself, it showed me a
beautifully creative use of inspiration that came from a very special place in her
heart. No doubt it has reached the hearts of many admirers of her work, much as it
did mine.
In keeping with my love of Victorian imagery, I wish to start off with three lovely
ladies in Victorian gowns of my favourite hue: black. As if you had to ask. Each has
her own mournful gaze, but is far from alone, accompanied by adorable friends such as
dragonflies, a sweet little owl and a somber raven on a stack of books. These ladies
are perfect company themselves for any Gothic Victorian home that requires the softer
side of haunting and a lovely friend to ponder and reflect with.

The next dear lady I came across is perfect companionship for getting lost in the
imagination, creativity and boundlessness of the steampunk movement (clockwork and
otherwise). Eyes closed, she drifts in a bit of a dream state that invites the viewer
to join in the journey for a while.

Of course I would be remiss in my duties to the EVGA blog if I did not include a bit
of the romance we all envision in our windswept, shadowed, black lacy world. This
beautiful couple with their somber countenance and dark feathered friends would make
a wonderful gift for that perfect pair as a reminder of how timeless and infinite
love can be.

And finally, I absolutely had to include a whimsical bunch that stole my heart at
first glance. With a reminiscent sigh I was taken back to my lovely sleep-deprived
youth and those grand evenings clutching a tattered and terrified teddy bear while
sitting up 'til all hours talking with a smiling reaper and a somewhat disturbingly
happy clown. Ahhh memories...

On that happy note, I give you Rustic Goth, the whimsically dark artwork of Charlene Murray Zatloukal.
I hope you will take some time to visit her Etsy shop and her website, both listed
below, wander through the images and see what strikes your fancy. I have featured
only a small portion of her lovely works, so I assure you many sweet surprises once
you get there.
Etsy Shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/RusticGoth
Website: www.RusticGoth.com

Have a wonderful evening and may you hear only friendly snarls and growls from the
big plants by the striped wallpaper. =)
Until next,
Raven

Come and Shop with Me: Isabella's Art

2011-07-31T13:00:00.000-07:00

Just when I think I have all of my product categories sorted out for featured
vendors, someone comes along and challenges me to find a new way to describe their
work. Isabella's Art is one of those wonderful shops that has succeeded in doing just
that. While I did come across her work on Etsy, I was delighted to find she also has
her own website and blog where she features work not show on Etsy, including books. I
have included links to her sites at the end of this feature for your perusal and
enjoyment.
Now to the fun of sharing a bit of Isabella's work with you. What originally caught
my eye was the collection of laser-cut shadow puppets depicting characters from
tried-and-true children's tales, very true to those that would have been found in a
Victorian Era nursery.
I immediately noticed an adorable cottage cut-then realized it was the Candy House
belonging to the witch in Hansel and Gretel. And what would you know, right next to
the wonderfully-detailed house, were Hansel, Gretel and the Witch, themselves.
Isabella does a beautiful job of illustrating the smallest features of the
characters, from the bow in Gretel's hair to the witch's long, warty nose and the
pattern of her apron, worn, of course, to bake up and serve wayward children lost in
her woods and consuming her home.

And so, in keeping with the theme of munchies, I chose two more pieces drawn from
childhood favourites, only with a bit less cooking, screaming and fleeing. The next
is an adorable depiction of the Teddybears' Picnic. Again, the detail in these well-
dressed and oh-so-civilized bears and their tea party picnic table is exquisite. From
the steam rising from Ms. Bear's tea cup to the lace table cloth trimming and the
rims of Mr. Bear's glasses, these shadow puppets are sure to cast a wonderful shadow,
making the characters come to life with the slightest move of a light source.

Then there is my favourite tea party: none other than the Mad Hatter's. Isabella does
a beautiful job with Alice's dress and the adorable mouse peeking from the tea pot as
always, makes this a lovely trio for tea time fun.

Getting back to picnics, no one can forget fairytale time's favourite picnic basket-
wielding heroine, Little Red Cap, as she was originally named. Many these days
remember her as Red Riding Hood, although I have no idea where "riding" came in, as
she was always skipping through those spooky woods. This pair of shadow puppets
includes a well-done big bad wolf, who looms menacingly over Red.

Take some time to peruse Isabella's sites and enjoy a wonderful stroll down memory
lane to a time when entertainment involved imagination and required no electricity.
In addition to the wonderful shadow puppets, she has also developed a stage just the right size for a creative puppeteer to hide behind, while a window provides the perfect backdrop for any story they can possibly imagine. Or purchase the puppets, find a bare patch of wall and break out the candles for backlighting. Enjoy remembering the folklore we all grew up with and many had forgotten with time and the demands of everyday grownup life. And for all the parents and grandparents out there, just imagine being able to introduce your children and grandchildren to these old
customs of storytelling while spending quality time building the next generation of dark Victorians.
As for me? I am already looking for a spot to clear on the wall and a hanging candle holder in preparation for my own little Hallowe'en theatre night.
Until next...
Raven
Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/IsabellasArt
Website: http://www.isabellasart.com/
Blog: http://isabellasart.blogspot.com/

A Little Fun: Men of Period Films Montage

2011-07-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

This is probably the first of many things I will share from Victoriana Magazine online. I highly recommend this site to anyone with an interest in all things Victorian, from clothing to customs to film and literature. There is something for everyone. So when you get a moment, be sure to visit www.victorianamagazine.com.

In the meantime, I hope this adds a little fun and a lot of romance to your day.
Via Victoriana Magazine and Youtube.. It's Rainin' Men.:

Cheers,

Raven

Chivalry is Not Dead

2011-07-27T13:22:00.000-07:00

It should be curled up in the fetal position in a corner mumbling incoherently
because misguided liberated members of the feminine gender have beaten it down with a
firehose, leaving men dazed and confused and wondering when good manners and respect became offensive behaviour.
However, it BEING Chivalry, it is sitting back patiently, appreciating the occasional
act of good faith, good manners and gracious appreciation. It understands that change
brings good and bad, and that the old addage "You don't miss the water 'til the well
runs dry" makes a very good point. Chivalry has faith in the hearts of humankind and
knows it is not entirely forgotten. (Why else would I be doing this blog and finding
wonderful individuals who inspire me to keep going?)

Now don't get me wrong. This is not a sweeping generalization that includes ALL
women, nor does it omit males who were chauvenist Neanderthals before and the ones
who let their confusion turn to a vengeful bitterness. (Sound a bit like a large
number of the women who have contributed to the attempted murder of our beloved
Chivalric code?)
So just what is "Chivalry"? Historically speaking, one might say it is the result of
the code of courtly behaviour devised by none other than Queen Eleanor of Acquitaine
with the creation of the role of troubadours in royal court who told tales of knights
in shining armour, and the heroes who fought for a lady's honour. The same tales told
of virtuous women who gave all for love, and not so virtuous women who were the
downfall of these heroes. What it became was a code of civilized behaviour and a
foundation of order and sanity in a world that can and is extremely chaotic and
impossible to predict. Being sentient and self-aware beings, it seemed natural for
men and women to adopt this ideal as much for a sense of security as for its appeal
in forming a loyal and loving mate. Chivalry is often primarily associated with
medieval times, but enjoyed a brilliant resurgence in the time of Queen Victoria due
to the fact that her marriage to Prince Albert was based as much in love and devotion
as it was in duty and royal bloodlines. Much like Queen Eleanor, Victoria was a
strong woman and an influential queen who defined an age.
And what does this mean to the rest of us in this century? It means some things last
for a reason and are well worth preserving. Now, like any other time, the world is a
chaotic place that leaves most people standing in the middle of a crowd, but feeling
completely alone. As our population booms, the probability of growing differences
between individuals makes it even more important to find commonalities and comfort
zones with others who are getting closer and closer to our personal space. This
search for commonalities brings our differences even more glaringly into the light.
For many it is a wonderful growth period with some hard lessons and some really
enlightening "aHA" moments. For others, it is terrifying as the same questions ring
through countless minds, "Where do I belong?" and "Who am I really?" These are some
of the questions that fueled a liberation movement, that much like suffragism, was
much needed in many ways, but like any huge shift in societal "norms" also had a huge
pendulum swing to the extremes, bringing a different perspective to the common
practices of what we consider to be chivalry and simple good manners. Behaviours
intended to be polite were suddenly viewed as condescending, bringing a violently
emotional backlash as women and girls struggled to restablish themselves in a new
"liberated" world.
For men, this brought about a type of confusion they could not be prepared for. Over
time, it created a confusion that women and young girls would, and still do, have to
face.
Each of us has heard our female friends, relatives, or co-workers grumble "Chivalry
is dead." It's not, but it is easy to see why they would feel that way. It's also not
too difficult to note from their comments, that there is a part of our society that,
while brilliantly liberated, recognizes the true nature of civil behaviour and
chivalry, and misses it. I hear from a lot of men that they are afraid to behave as
gentlemen, as it usually results in odd looks, as if they've behaved in some
degenerate matter, or outright snarling retorts that they are being condescending.
Over time this has taken its toll. Young men and boys have lost their role models as
their elders refrain from following their nature and exhibiting chivalrous behaviour,
and those of the older generations to whom it is second nature are dying off.
One young man recently shared with me that he has not given up on chivalry. He has
always admired it and it is a part of who he is. He opens doors, pulls out chairs,
refers to his elders as "Sir" and "Ma'am" and allows ladies, children and the elderly
to go before him. He also shared a frustration with how his behaviour is perceived.
As an attractive young man, he stands out in most crowds. He has many female friends
who constantly tell him they love what a gentleman he is. Sadly, however, a few of
them have "warned" him that people will think he is too nice or homosexual because of
it. He said dating is difficult because his good manners are misconstrued as
weakness, and even shared a story of being out with a young woman at a club, and
having her tear into him for defending her from a guy who was not taking "No" for an
answer. He said the last thing he heard was "I CAN HANDLE THIS!" before she stormed off. Quite obviously she couldn't, and he had handled the situation calmly, but her
response told him very quickly that many young women are very conditional in their
preference for chivalry. This, too, I credit to a growing absence of feminine role
models who are able to illustrate for girls and young women that it is entirely
possible to be a strong woman, but also a gracious one who can and does appreciate
the acts of protectiveness and chivalry many men, young and old, still exhibit on a
daily basis.
This was just one of countless men I have heard from over the years who never lost
the meaning behind Chivalry. So take note, ladies, they are out there. And to their
credit, there are many women out there who truly understand the meaning of
Graciousness, who, like myself, still struggle with accepting compliments, but give
it their best, and most respectful attempt for the simple fact that a kind word
should never be fished for, and never be expected, but when received from someone
sincere, it is just as disrespectful to themselves as to the giver, to not accept it
with at least a smile and an equally sincere "Thank you." And NEVER be afraid to give
a man a compliment, if it is sincere and without agenda. Phony compliments are
recognizable a continent away.
So with all of this said (and believe me, I could say MUCH more), I would love to
hear back from anyone with a thought or story to share, and to reassure you, Chivalry
is not dead. It is out there, surviving in the hearts and actions of the silent
numbers. I have learned since beginning this blog, just how widespread the sentiment
is, and have revisited a question asked by a friend a while back. "Why not start a
group to teach, support and promote the old refinements?"
Hmmm....... thoughts, anyone?

Demure

2011-07-24T02:33:00.000-07:00

I was particularly pleased when this word was brought up several times over the
course of just two days. To be quite frank, I was afraid that the word "demure" had
been bludgeoned to a bloody death some time ago and that only a scant few of us
remained who had any clue what it meant, much less its worth.

Please allow me to share some of the definitions I have found:
Demure (adj.): Synonyms: coy, modest, shy
1. coy: affectedly modest or shy especially in a playful or provocative way
2. the trait of behaving with reserve and decorum
3. quiet, modest, reserved
(Thank you Google and Websters)
Like a host of other words, this one seems to now be considered a colloquialism, no
longer fashionable in today's world of "liberated" and "openly expressive" women. So
then why is it being brought up to me (and others) more and more regularly by both
men and women? Simple. Much like the concept of "mystique", it takes very little
thinking to realize that there is something alluring (another word nearly embalmed
and entombed in the Cemetery of English Vernacular) about a woman who does not show all of her cards up front. There is a certain sense of confidence that comes from any individual who seems comfortable enough with themselves, that they feel no need to advertise.
As one dear friend asked, "What happened to dressing up to look good, rather than
dressing in as little as possible to look ready for the next one?" I have to admit, I
had to nod while laughing. Over the years I have heard a lot of females complain that
they are treated like a toy, an object, or a piece of meat. And as several others
have pointed out, "When you present yourself as such, why be surprised?"
Now there is an interesting argument to this. If one has the figure and the looks to
pull off the fantasy heroine scantily clad look, why not go for it? Certainly
understandable. I think any of us, in the perfect condition would be tempted to do
so, however, there is such a thing as Time and Place. I am writing about that in a
separate piece, soon to be added to the blog.
In brief, if one is going into a situation where they want to be taken seriously,
remember that you are responsible for the non-verbal signals you send. It is
practically impossible to be seen as "mysterious", much less "demure" when your
intial introduction to a person or group involves a look that screams "I am desperate
for attention.. and a sex partner." Clothes do make the man, and the woman.
However, a thought to ponder here... there are certain things in this life, that
unless you are bloody brilliant at damage control, once out there, you can never take
back. It's been said that first impressions are usually right. Perhaps not 100% of
the time, however, it is completely true that you never get a second chance to make
that first impression. What does this have to do with being demure? Allow me to
explain.
The demure woman is more concerned with making a complete ass of herself and being
seen as desperate than she is with doing what ever it takes to be popular, to look
popular (or desired), and does not settle. Ever. Her attitude is far from that of
disposability. You wont' often, if ever, hear "Well, if this one is just for now. If
it doesn't work out, there are plenty of others to try." She is in no rush, and takes
her time revealing herself to others once they have earned her trust. (Beginning to
sound a bit like mystique? It is.)
One slight difference between being mysterious and being demure, is that the
mysterious individual has the indifferent attitude down to a science. The demure
woman (yes, this is a woman thing) can and will use the confidence she has in knowing
her level of appeal, to flirt slightly, and pointedly. She is the epitome of "coy"
and does not fish for compliments because she does not need them. However, she will usually be quite gracious in accepting them.) She will test the waters until SHE decides whether or not someone is worth investing more time. She does not go around thinking that she is the Be All, End All of women, but she does know her worth.
Again to a friend's comment, when looking at aspiring models, it is easy to tell the
demure ones from the rest. Demure means having a certain "look" from the shoulders
up. One gaze into the camera reaches through the photo to grab on to the viewer. It
is a Presence that makes the admirer want to know more. She does not start off with
brazen nudity (not to be confused with artistic nudes, but that's a topic for another
day) that screams "Here is everything I have to offer."
I used to think I was alone in my concerns about the rapid decline in demure
behaviour, but as others have shared sentiments similar to those I have voiced above
(and far worse, believe me), I realized it was a topic to address.
I know this all sounds harsh, and perhaps it is, but it is a simple fact. Now if
someone does not wish to be seen as demure, or mysterious for that matter, then by
all means, carry on. It worked for Mae West and Madonna. Neither was going for demure or mysterious. All of womankind has never, at any point in time, been demure. There are those who are, and those who aren't. The brilliance of Diversity is that there is a spectrum and individuals at both ends along with every point in between.
My final message is this... If one wishes to be viewed as something, be it. Be true
to yourselves. Masks are for galas and fancy dress affairs. For those who wish to
bring Demure back into fashion, by all means, live that, and if you are not sure how,
please... drop me a line. We will talk.
Until next....
Raven

Come and Shop with Me: Immortal Visions

2011-07-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

So we have established that I am already adamantly enamoured with a rapidly growing
number of talented individuals who continue to indirectly feed into my dark, lacey,
beribboned, mildly sparkly, hand-embellished, India ink-stained addiction. It makes
this part of the "job" just that much more fun. This time I am thrilled to be
featuring a local talent whose papercrafts leapt off the pages of Etsy at me,
whispering "Come. Look. Acquire. Share." Then there was something else about the many incredible uses for the unique and beautiful creations of Immortal Visions.

Imagine, if you will (I did), the following scenario. You are planning a lovely
midnight tarot tea party. My favourite kind. Your guest list is carefully chosen,
distinguished, brilliantly dark and always dressed to kill. No ordinary party store
invitations or "e-vites" will suffice. This event is indicative of the type of
host/ess you are and the level of high esteem in which you hold your would-be
attendees. Your invitations should be unique and reflect the spirit of the occasion.

Just because it is midnight does not mean the garden is asleep. These dark floral
notecards from Immortal Visions are just the thing for including a handwritten note
to your potential guests along with time, place and other pertinent information. The
lovely flowers are a graceful reminder of the event and ensure that they do not get
lost in a stack of other, far less important correspondences.

Perhaps you have another event on your social calendar, and this time you are the
attendee. Your hosts have indulged your senses with the soft glow of black candles,
red glassware, dark classically-inspired music and an evening of formal attire at the
Masque of the season. Several days later, after you have recovered and find yourself
reveling in fond memories and more than a few intrigues, you remember that you
absolutely must (MUST) thank your hosts. After several cups of restorative (tea,
coffee, etc.) you sit down to write an eloquent, yet to-the-point note of gratitude.

Of course, who can forget all of the wonderful gift-giving holidays: Birthdays, new
kinderspawn, (haunted) housewarming, Christmas, All Hallows. Presentation is
everything. It says "Thinking of you" and "I've known you too long to deny your
maudlin quirks now." What better than a lovely album for the hopeless romantic in
your life? Include a few lovely lines of poetry or photos to mark the event and
remind them that while "Love Bites"... that is not always a bad thing.

Or perhaps you have already aquired a small trinket of some sentimental or symbolic
value and wish to present it in the best wrappings. This trio includes a sweetly
decorated miniature coffin, matching gift card and note card to include your own
sentiments.

Now please do keep in mind that I am only scratching the surface of the beautiful
creations of Immortal Visions. As with each of the artists I have come across and
hope to continue to feature, I find myself wondering what inspires them, so, being
ever inquisitive, I ask. Immortal Visions creator, Melissa, was kind enough to share
with me her concern that the art of true correspondence was being sacrificed in lieu
of impersonal, and painfully unimaginative, greeting cards. I knew I had contacted
the right person. When she also shared her "borderline obsession" with "the three V's
- Vampires, Victorian and Vintage" there was no way I could pass up the opportunity
to do this.

As anyone who knows me will tell you, I refuse to believe that there exist no more
people who appreciate, embody and long for the days of true romanticism. So, with
infinite pleasure, I give you another fine supplier of the necessities of a life
darkly, richly, indulgently, and well-lived with the refinement and joie de vivre et
la mort it truly deserves. So please, take a few moments (or more) to visit Melissa
at Immortal Visions and break out that quill and India ink.

On Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ImmortalVisions
On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/immortalvisions
While you're there, tell her Raven said Hello. Now I am off to find a fresh quill.
Seems they double well as cat toys.

Be well, be dark, and always be uniquely true to yourself. ;)
Ever,
Raven

The More the Merrier; Let's Be Unique Together

2011-07-10T00:55:00.000-07:00

While the title seems extremely tongue-in-cheek it is also a very sincere sentiment
that takes on two unique meanings. As a person who leans heavily toward the Victorian
Gothic side of things, I occasionally have people assume this makes me (and other
Victorian Goths) snobs toward the rest of the Goth culture. It usually takes less
than a minute in our presence around ANYone else, Goth or not, to realize how
ludicrous a notion that is. So here is the point of my statement, in two pieces.
1. We are each extremely unique, enjoying and appreciating knowing others different
from ourselves for the variety and interesting exchanges that brings.
2. Within every large group of unique individuals there are many commonalities, and
those commonalities lead to sub-groups under their own banners. These sub-cultures
within the culture create a wonderful sense of community support without detracting
from the member's individuality. It is an inspiring gathering of like-minds that is
more focused on the fashion, tastes and events particular to that group.
One of the strongest traits of any Goth, Victorian or otherwise, is a unique sense of
personal style. This transcends hair colour and clothing, to include preferences in
film, music, even television shows (and cartoons). While a person's primary style
influence may fall into a single category (Victorian, Industrial, Cyber, Lolita,
Perky, Romantic, etc.) they are never restricted by some unwritten list of rules
stating the can or cannot wear something(s) from other styles. In fact, Goths are
brilliant when it comes to blending styles and cross-accessorizing. At last check,
tastes in music, literature, film and events also create more common ground than not.
By sharing ideas, styles, experiences, the entire culture has become a pretty
cohesive collective under the umbrella of "Goth" while retaining and celebrating each
member's individuality, and their right to express it as mildy or extremely as they
wish.
Speaking of umbrellas.. I am off to do a little shopping for parasols.
Until next... Keep it real(ly interesting) =)
Raven

Less is More - The Simple Math Behind Mystique

2011-07-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

No, I am not referring to a blue female character from the X-Men series. Just to
clear that up.
This topic has been brought up to me quite a lot lately, from several different
perspectives, so I thought perhaps I could do a (hopefully) brief post about it. Much
like the quote at the head of my blog: "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you
have to tell people you are, you aren't." Lady Margaret Thatcher was both. She was
also an incredibly strong, intelligent woman who used her words and her position
wisely. Through her actions and her sincerity, she became an icon, a role model to
many women of her time.
The same philosophy goes for the "air of mystery" or the "mystique" that some individuals seem to embody almost effortlessly. We have all seen them. We have, on some level, recognized that quiet beauty and unspoken magnetism that comes from true confidence and being comfortable in one's own skin, or even the hint of a dark secret that can be trusted to no one.
It is because of that comfort and the healthy self-esteem that the truly "mysterious" never have to be announced, nor do they feel the need to tell others "I'm mysterious" or "I have an air of mystery."
They simply do not think along those lines, and they feel no need to try to verbally paint an image of themselves to others. Their actions speak volumes. Mysterious people do not seek to be mysterious. They certainly do not seek to be seen by others as mysterious for the simple fact that being mysterious draws attention, and that is the last thing they're looking for.

So a small crash course in what it means to be mysterious.

As mentioned above, one does not announce that they are mysterious. It is not a life goal. They usually just prefer to keep people out of their business.
Self-confidence feels no need to announce every detail as if seeking approval. It appears indifferent to the attention and attaboys of others, usually because it is.
One is mysterious to others only when they do not know much about him or her.
Mysterious is not necessarily shy. It does not always cowtow and walk about with a downward gaze, blushing at every instance of eye contact or smile. It can meet others eye to eye, but feels no need for staring contests or other pissing matches to establish the "alpha" position.
Mysterious is not prone to flared temper, outright flirting or "showboating".. in fact, the mysterious individual will more often come across as an observer who is half-lost in their own thoughts and a private little world. This appearance of pre-occupation usually conveys a feeling that the private internal world is far more interesting and everything else is a distraction. As humans, most will become curious about this private world, hence.. mystery.

Mysterious individuals tend to be rather introverted by nature, even though many of
them can and do hold their own quite well in large groups and in front of others.
Being able to address a crowd or participate in a conversation does not mean their
personal information is open for discussion. They will often keep on topic better
than most for the simple fact that it is Not about them. And they are more than happy
with that. And be warned, not all "mysterious" individuals even like the idea of being seen that way. Some simply do not intend to share, and will be offended by attempts to pry.
While this "less is more" attitude is very natural to those of a private nature, the
main complaint I do hear is that it is becoming rare in a society where overshare is
the norm. Ironic, then, that many who live for overshare for the sake of attention,
realize the value of being mysterious to some degree, and will announce their "air of
intrigue" to anyone who will listen.
So let me close with a thought... part of the beauty of getting to know people is
what I refer to as "the dance".. that slow process of building a level of comfort
with another. It is getting to know them in stages as well as letting them get to
know you at a pace that is most comfortable for you. Face it, many of us are not ok
with baring our throats to strangers... ok ok... maybe to the tall, dark, mysterious
ones. Get my point? :)

Until next... Be sure to save a little for later.

Raven

Come and Shop with Me: Nocturnal Nostalgia

2011-07-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I am a couple days late on this one, but I feel it has been worth the wait to
have time to properly introduce this designer.
As any Victorian Goth knows, wardrobe says nearly everything. It is the first glimpse
anyone gets of the individual, so it should reflect their personal style, and fit
correctly, adding to their good carriage, healthy posture and general air of
confidence, refinement and flair for fun. Sadly, my own wardrobe is still far from
where I wish it to be. This led me on a hunt for clothiers and designers who
understand the genre, appreciate the beauty and whose pieces are attainable by
everyone without skimping one tiny bit on quality or originality.
All of that having been said, allow me to share a few creations from Nocturnal
Nostalgia. From corsets to gorgeously detailed chokers to her darkly dainty headwear,
Rose, the driving force behind Nocturnal Nostalgia, very obviously channels her talent and appreciation of the beauty of the Victorian era into every piece.
So let's begin with the first thing to catch my eye when I first visited her Etsy
store. These days ladies' top hats seem all the rage, followed by veils to maintain
that air of mystery, however, there is a very feminine, very unassuming accessory
that I feel deserves more "face time" at gatherings and in print. Most often seen as
part of a Gothic Lolita ensemble, Nocturnal Nostalgia's skull headpiece with lace and
ribbons is reminiscent of headwear worn to a Victorian Noir ladies' tea party, with
black bustle gown in a cozy parlour over a favourite tea and engaging conversation.
The same piece at a gathering is less austere than a top hat and accentuates rather
than shields the wearer's impeccably applied make up and naturally luminescent
features.

Of course the staple of any good Victorian woman's wardrobe is the corset. There are
as many approaches to how a corset should fit as there are those who work to fit into
them. While it is this jaded old crow's attitude that it is there to accentuate what
one already has, there is also the fascinating challenge of some reenactors to
duplicate history by using brutally (and impressively) reinforced versions to squeeze
and shape the mid-section to unnaturally small measurements. Kudos to those who
attain that waspish figure without serious harm. I will, however, leave that debate
to the blogs geared solely to this particular undergarment. My goal is to share a
wonderful piece by Nocturnal Nostalgia, that, in this case, marries richly coloured
satin with my favourite coloured lace: black. There is no questioning the femininity
and quality of Rose's work. The handmade garment is a quality investment, and she
does do custom work to your measurements, making this a key element of your wardrobe that reflects your individuality at its finest.

Now finally (for this entry, anyhow) and hardly least, is that key element to a
Victorian wardrobe. It is also one of my all time favourite accessories, and one of
the main ways most creators/artists show their individuality and eye for detail: The
choker.
As a varitable hoarder of chokers and choker-making supplies (that I never seem to
have time to play with), I absolutely fell in love with Nocturnal Nostalgia's many
designs. I am happy to share two here for your viewing pleasure. Please, do take the
time to visit her Etsy store and her site to get a good look at the variety of neck
adornments that can both accentuate a long neck or draw attention from a porcelain
complexion to a beautifully-matched corset just below. Remember... Victorian Elegance
is Never an Illusion.. it is Illustration in perfect, lacey balance.

I hope you have enjoyed the pieces I have featured here. These are only the tip of
the iceberg. For more visual indulgence and to contact Nocturnal Nostalgia, I have
included her links below.
Site: www.NocturnalNostalgia.com
Etsy Shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/nocturnalnostalgia

Until next... Keeping the light on.. (it annoys the shadows. = ) )
Raven

Come and Shop with Me: Nacreous Alchemy

2011-07-01T00:09:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to begin what I hope to be a long tradition of featuring the art,
jewelry and other creations of very talented individuals with this particular gem.
As anyone knows, a proper Victorian Gothic home should reflect the style and
eccentricities of its inhabitants. When a friend recommended this particular shop (or
as I prefer to spell it.."shoppe"..) on Etsy, I had to chuckle when I found it was
someone already in my list of favourites.
The name alone had caught my eye..Nacreous Alchemy. And when I read one particular
line on her site as Michelle, the mind behind Nacreous Alchemy, described her
approach to her art: "I’ve always found beauty in things most others consider dark,
depressing, or just scary," I bordered on giddiness. So with her kind permission, I
wanted to take a moment to share a couple pieces of her work, as well as links to her
Etsy shop(pe) and her site.
Now don't think this wasn't a major undertaking, just attempting to single out a
piece or two to share. Every piece is unique, with its own personality, and it is our
good fortune that this artist does not limit herself to one medium.
So I begin with a unique, and timeless, mantle clock, perfect for setting a homey
mood above your fireplace. This "clock" no longer keeps time, but instead seems to
convey a very kind message that at some point, time is irrelevant and nothing to
worry about. The stately old house in the background is no more concerned than the
smiling skull that peers out from behind the glass.

Now for a more nostalgic feel, one might tap their inner creature of the night by
gazing at one of many lovely shadow boxes. This one features the Father of all
Draculas, the ever-classy, perfectly Victorian Gothic Bela Lugosi and his vampire
brides. Not only does it make for a wonderful visual escape, it tells guests "This is
a house of tradition. And we do not drink... wine." (Ok, so that was a tad camp, but
you must forgive me, I got caught up in the moment.)

Finally, (as I had to stop at three or else risk writing a book and featuring
everything) I had to share a lovely wall hanging for the true die-hard (pun intended)
Victorian Goth. It states succinctly, "I shall go to my grave in style." From the
lovely black roses to the lace cuff and vintage spider ring, this is clearly an
accent piece perfect for anywhere from the boudoir, overlooking a dressing table, to
the parlour, where this single hand can seemingly wave to visitors, as is only
polite.

So now that you have seen a few of the fine, and fun, creations at Nacreous Alchemy,
please be sure to visit her site and Etsy store, find her on Facebook and "Like" her
page, and wander lost for a while in the "beauty in things most others consider dark,
depressing or just scary." After all, isn't that just one more brilliant aspect of
the members of our Victorian Gothic little world?

Site: http://www.nacreousalchemy.com
Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/NacreousAlchemy?ref=pr_shop

Until next... enjoy, and scream if you need anything.

Raven S.

A Life of Its Own...

2011-06-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

This blog has certainly taken on a life of its own. What began as a response to several requests to put thought to print, is now turning into a deeper labour of love than I had anticipated. That said, it is with a good deal of excitement (much like that of a kid in a candy store) that I move forward with plans to begin featuring the talents of those individuals and teams who create everything from artwork to clothing, jewelry, etc.. with a flair for the Victorian Goth Aesthetic. I will also attempt to review and share examples of the genre through film, literature and music.
I will continue to blog regarding the noble and refined behaviours of the genre as well as sharing conversations I have had the pleasure of enjoying with others that proved thought-provoking, insightful, entertaining and often inspiring.
As always, I am quite open to suggestions, thoughts and stories. I hope you enjoy.

Raven

Irish Diplomacy

2011-06-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

There is an old practice I have always held in high regard, but sadly, find to be
rare. Irish Diplomacy. As it was described to me: "The ability to tell a man to go to
Hell in such a manner as to make him look forward to the trip."

In this day and age, it is not only common place, but encouraged, to use profanity
and immediately tell off, confront or insult others like some great game of "Beat you
to it." Much like my earlier post about "Bitch" and its true absence as any kind of
compliment, this behaviour is still very much a defense reaction. Look hard, sound
badass, and get to others before they get to you. Many lost opportunities are the
result of this practice, and the one hurling insults merely winds up appearing
insecure, defensive, and dare I say "scared"?
But I am not here to discuss the psychology of today's crass-is-cool mentality. I am
here to celebrate, and possibly mourn, the art of diplomatically, methodically, and
thoroughly observing, assessing and cataloguing an individual's display of ignorance,
arrogance or other offense that has graduated to the point of making it impossible to
overlook or excuse.
Mind you, I never (repeat NEVER) condone ignorant behaviour as that is no more than
enabling idiocy and harm to others. The point here is knowing when to choose one's
battles, and being able to choose them wisely. This is something I am going to be
covering in another post, but for the time being, I will refer to it here because it
applies.
More often than not, abrasive individuals act out at, condescend to and project onto
others out of their own insecurities and/or thoughtlessness. Reciprocating with the
same type of behaviour only enforce it and brings one down to the offender's level.
(Boy, haven't we all heard that one before? Maybe because it's true.)
There are also times when someone will act out for other reasons: frustration,
stress, illness, or the inability to look at things from the viewpoint of others,
leaving them essentially blind to their own foolishness. We all know this is even
worse, horribly amplified in groups who are all simply acting and reacting rather
than thinking.
So comes diplomacy: Take a moment to size up the offense. Often dismissing it takes
the wind out of their sails and demonstrates to their cheer squad that they really
are not as all-powerful as originally believed. Often it can be diffused with a few
words to clarify a situation. This is a different situation and also requires some
self-control. Clarifying with a degree of matter-of-fact indifference. It is entirely
too easy to sound defensive, to over-explain and to hand all control back to the
blowhard. It is important to make it clear that the unspoken message is "Welcome to
the loop. Now move along." but with perhaps a touch of implied compassion.. "I'm
sorry hear you were left out of the loop."
But I digress (greatly) and will leave off there, only to recap in another long-
winded post about communication skills, active listening and choosing one's battles
wisely later on.
Returning to topic: There comes a point after all of the compassion (alluded to, or
otherwise), the dismissals and taking nothing personally (rightfully so.. it is their
issue, not yours), that one must finally put a pup in check, but without stooping to
their level. Remember, it is not personal. It is an oaf with little to no foresight,
a narrow field of vision and an unending supply of insecurity.
Irish diplomacy is that graceful, smiling delivery of the accounting of shortcomings
and errors that is so eloquent (as many Irish are known to be), that the unprepared,
narrow-minded, somewhat confused individual will hear the diplomat out, word for
word, believing every syllable to be a compliment of observation due to the almost
admiringly smooth delivery. It is usually only after the delivery of the diplomat's
accounting, when the diplomat has politely excused themselves and others have faded
into the woodwork just as confused, or amused, that the offender realizes he or she
has been held to rule and found to come up short, often with well-worded instructions
as to just which direction they can go, how to get there and what to do once there,
IF they are deemed important enough to go that extra mile for.
And this, good people, is Irish Diplomacy. Do I find it is something that is easily
done? Certainly not. Do some have a gift for it? Much to my glee, yes. Can it be
learned? It depends on the individual. There does have to be a strong sense of self-
confidence with a splash of smooth sarcasm.

Victorian Goths and a Noble State of Mind

2011-06-07T23:00:00.000-07:00

This is where I find most people are mesmerised and drawn to the Victorian Gothic
aesthetic; The appearance of an Old World, Dracula-esque, noble sense of confidence
and attention-grabbing presence that draws nearly ever eye in the room from the
moment of entry. And who can blame them? And this is the ideal and perspective from
which this blog was born... the Victorian Gothic Aesthetic.. and the etiquette
thereof.

I challenge anyone to dress in Victorian attire, especially Gothic or Noir attire,
with its attention to detail, gorgeous fabrics, rich accoutrements and purposeful
construction without finding that they carry themselves more upright, hold their
heads higher and conduct themselves at least a bit differently. Men and women both
taken on a sense of grace, confidence and civility. They are fully aware that they
will be noticed, gaped at, assessed and in many cases, admired.
But the sense of nobility does not stop there. As blatantly noticeable as the attire
is; as brilliantly titillating as the bejeweled chokers, silver-tipped walking sticks
and silken cravats may be, what cements the vision in any mind, is the conduct of a
Victorian Gothic "noble". So let me be clear here. By "noble" I am not referring to
the social heirarchy of many subcultures, though in certain cases, it has been known
to happen with Victorian Goths.
When the rest of the world is listening to women bemoan "Chivalry is dead," Victorian
Gothic men are opening doors, bowing and shaking hands with one another, kissing
ladies' hands in greeting or parting, patiently waiting to speak, giving their
conversational partners ample time to share stories, information and usually well-
thought-out opinions. These gentlemen carry themselves well, are honest in their
opinions and on most accounts will exhibit the most polite behaviour, even when faced
with rudeness and confrontation. They are neither doormats, nor weaklings, but easily
use their experience and self-respect to choose their battles wisely, recognizing a
"pissing match" for what it is: A waste of time. These men are genial, glad to extend
a hand in greeting, but slow to build friendships, holding those bonds of comradeship
as sacred as their own integrity.
And while the rest of the world is shaking its head at the emasculation of men by
insecure women who have been taught that they are victims and must be loud,
belittling and the first to strike, Victorian Gothic women, more often than not, are
smiling demurely, listening intently (Remember, like elephants, women have long
memories), holding conversations with one another with little more than glances,
expressions and the slightest body language. They are well aware, and living
examples, that strong women are simply true to themselves. These ladies have earned
the title "lady" and truly understand the meaning of the phrase "You attract more
bees with honey than vinegar." They stand true to their friendships, because they are
quick to greet people graciously but slow to build bonds of trust.
Does these mean these cultured, well-dressed individuals are stuffy or take
themselves too seriously? Well, of course there will always be those few in every
crowd. For the most part, not at all. The sense of humour is alive and well,
playfulness takes on a brilliantly darker note with poetic euphemisms and we are all
always overjoyed to see good friends, new and old, and will greet with a hug, a pat
on the back, and shed a tear of joy on grand occasions, and a tear of sorrow in
support of one another.
One bit of brilliance about this state of mind is that elitism is really not
tolerated. Being unique in a very visual sense, often not fitting into the mainstream
vulgarities of modern society, they have a great deal of experience with being
singled out, mocked and generally regarded as freakish by the ignorant ones of our
world. Those I have known over the years do not let this behaviour get to them, and
many are fairly gifted ambassadors. Because of these experiences, they embrace
diversity like no other group on Earth. They applaud and defend those who choose to
walk their own walk.
For as long as I can recall, there has never been a shortage of these wonderful
individuals. They bring out the inquisitive best in those they meet who are strong
enough to stand on their own in the presence of those who are so colourfully, and
stylishly true to themselves. To this day, I am proud to be acquainted with and
inspired by them.
When you hear the phrase "Victorian Goth" or "Victorian Gothic" what are the first
things you think of? Do share. I would love to hear.

Purposeful Expression & A Challenge

2011-05-31T23:45:00.000-07:00

When I was first approached to create this blog, as I think I may have mentioned in a
earlier post, I was also asked to consider "darkling debutante" coaching. It's still
an idea I like, though it depends greatly on the demand for such a thing. A few who
had asked about "old world" etiquette and practices, asked me what they could do to
get into the mindset.

First, I asked them what they like most about the genre and the era. Most responded
with references to the unhurried grace, gentility and depth of communication. Second,
I asked them if they'd ever written a letter. After a few confused glances, the
standard response was usually, "Oh, I write emails all the time."
Not to be a killjoy, but emails are far from being letters. The widespread use of
computers has made nearly everyone proficient at typing to varying degrees. This
allows for "mental diarrhea" wherein every thought goes unfiltered into print just
before being rocketed through cyberspace for someone else to quickly glance over and
respond just as quickly and, dare I say, robotically. Yes, we all have some degree of
auto-responder.

So here's the challenge:
Compose a hand-written letter to whomever you choose. Do not rush through it. Find a
nice card (preferably blank or one with a sentiment you would like to convey), and
paper that does not come out of a college-ruled spiral notebook. Set some time aside
so you can let your thoughts slow down from a swirl and become actual correspondence.
If you like, have music playing in the background and a cup of coffee or tea beside
the note paper on the desk. Write as if you are talking with the letter's recipient
over that cup of coffee or tea. You are telling a story and sharing your thoughts.
The beauty of hand-written letters is that we do slow down. We think about what we
are going to write and the process becomes a ritual. There is no backspace, no delete
and no copy/paste or Send button. This is purposeful expression. This is when the
internal filters are your friend and allow you to present your best self, your most
sincere self and your most gracious self.

A few Don'ts:
Do NOT use internet/text abbreviations. If you are sharing a laugh, "LOL" has NO
place here. Write "I just cracked myself up", "I'm sitting here laughing as I write
this," or something along those lines.
Limit the profanity. There really is no reason for it here (Unless Uncle George truly
is a horse's ass, and the recipient understands this). The point of the letter is to
be purposeful and unrushed. In a word, relaxed, as it should be a relaxing,
connecting experience for the reader. Save the expletive-laden rants for emails to
the customer service desk (or Uncle George, if necessary).
Do NOT rush. (See verbose explanation above)
Do NOT focus on negative things. This is not an emo letter from Lydia Deetz just
before meeting the Maitlands and Beetlejuice. (Now if you wish to wear the hat and
veil, by all means.. go for it.)
Do NOT use pencil. Two reasons: 1. Commit to what you are saying. Pencil conveys a
lack of commitment to your words. 2. Pencil smudges and erasure marks look awful,
proving you rushed. Use a pen you really like writing with. Take your time. Choose
your words carefully and make writing them an act of artistry. Enjoy exploring your
penmanship.
So there you have it: a challenge that can actually be fun, and one of many steps in
exploring/forming/expressing your Inner Victorian Gothic Nobility. Enjoy, and
please.. do let me know how it goes.
Now I am off to find a new quill. The last two seem to have run off.

Grammar for Victorian Goths and Everyone Else

2011-05-31T23:34:00.000-07:00

I know this seems a rather old fashioned and preachy subject, and I suppose it is. So
then why write about it? We live in an age of instant and impersonal communication,
without a lot of real connection. We are able to text message, instant message, voice
message, leave blog comments and "like" on sites like Facebook to signal our
agreement with a statement, a video, a quote or any limited entry shared by another
individual. Our language has turned to one of hip slang and abbreviations to match
our insanely fast-paced world and even faster-paced lives. The irony, even those
without fast-paced lives, speak, type and act as if they do through abbreviated notes
and responses. We find our ability to reach out, share information and emote now
limited to characters rather than words, with the king of hit-and-run one-way
communication being Twitter.

Don't get me wrong. These sites and the countless others out there serve a strong
purpose, allowing each of us the opportunity to get in contact with others of like
mind or interests around the world, giving us an emotional feed 24 hours a day, 7
days a week.
That said, I will step down off my soap box and explain the reason for all that build
up. With our 140 character or less, shout-to-the-crowd methods of communication being the norm, we (figurative "we") have forgotten the simplest rules of grammar.
Surprisingly, grammar is STILL important in today's world. Hopefully, it always will
be. While bosses no longer have secretaries come in and take down letters in
shorthand as they're verbally dictated by pacing superiors, it is even more necessary to know how to form a basic sentence as you will be writing your own letters and business emails.
This age of instant information has also created instant authors through self-publishing, blogging and a number of other means. I have lost count of the number of individuals with differing degrees of promise, who have sent me samples of their work, and I have to send them back requesting two things: punctuation and an explanation. The reason for these is, as many of you may have noticed, a lot of people seem to be under the impression that the internet forbids the use of punctuation. Sentences do not require periods, question marks or commas and capitalizing the first word of a sentence is too time consuming to be of any concern. Now exclamation points? Those are popular. And capitalization is only valid if the entire statement uses it.
Grammar, while an old fashioned notion, is pivotal to being taken seriously when one
"speaks" in any written form. Grammar is also important in spoken form. Surprise,
surprise. Ever talk with someone whose favourite word is "like" ? "So, like, me and
my friend went to this show, and like all these guys were staring at us. You know?"
First off, No, I do not know, because I really have no bloody clue what I am supposed
to "know" as I have only just heard the story. (Yes, this is a real statement tossed
at me recently.) Secondly, what are we a)comparing it to be like, b) supposed to be
fond of enough to say we like it, or c) is the speaker just that unsure of the story
that they won't commit to a full on statement as fact?
Granted, this is one of probably countless examples, and in many cases I may be just
preaching to the choir, but for those who are members of the Victorian Gothic
community, there is a certain point of pride in the ability to form a cohesive,
somewhat lilting and poetic statement and share it with grace, dignity and a degree
of mesmerising decorum. Please do not mistake this for the often very common practice
of using every ten dollar word one finds in a dictionary or thesaurus. All that
indicates is that the individual owns a dictionary and/or thesaurus.
Speak plainly. Do not feel the need to replace every word with colloquialisms and
quantum jargon, and know the audience. Be natural in your speech and you will be at
ease. Just as importantly, you will put others at ease and make yourself more
approachable, enjoyable and likely to sustain a real conversation.

"Bitch" Is Never a Compliment

2011-05-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

Let's see, how does the t-shirt/bumper sticker/profile picture usually read?
"Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Hot/Hell of a Woman/etc." I think I have seen this
phrase for at least the last two decades, though I'm sure it's quite a bit older than
that. Pretty long-lasting defense mechanism.

So why am I writing this? Simple. Every time I see this, I have to smile and shake my
head. While yes, there are those rare occasions when being an outright hag becomes
necessity, wearing the term like a badge of honour is probably one of the most
limiting things any female can do to herself. Is it a sign of her strength? Not at
all. As the quote from Lady Margaret Thatcher states, "Being powerful is like being a
lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." If you have to announce your
bitch-hood, you're telling the world "I am bitter/scared/a follower/attempting to
build up my self-image in two steps or less."
Do the t-shirts offend me? No. Does the degree of self-delusion offend me? No,
because we each have our own choices to make and a right to make those choices
without the judgement of others. Does that mean those choices are always made with
forethought and all the facts? Not in the least. None of us has ALL the answers, but
it is all too common to make choices based on the general consensus. Does profanity
offend me? Certainly not. Truth be told, I am fairly gifted in the vernacular of
sailors/longshoremen/truckers, but find very few moments in life that truly call for
it.
I decided to write this piece after an experience not too long ago. Actually, it is
not the only time I have had this particular experience, so I find the theme worth
mentioning. In short, I was at lunch with a friend and passed a girl in the
aforementioned t-shirt. Apparently the size x-small pink cotton and rhinestone
billboard she wore with her low-rider jeans was also her suit of armour as she
stomped past us with a very out-of-place "Don't mess with me" look. We thought little
of it until she stopped to shoot us both a dirty look for noticing the t-shirt and to
challenge us about it. I could not help but smile after she threw her chest out to
make her point and demanded "What?" So I asked "So are you?" I found it both amusing in its predictability and sad in its hipocrisy that she immediately became offended, hurled an expletive or two and stomped out of the shop. The girl behind the counter was amused beyond recovery. So I had to ask myself, and my friend, "If one proclaims to be something, why would they get angry when someone acknowledges it?"
The general consensus was that the shirt and the projected attitude had not done
their job. They failed to intimidate us and give her control of a situation that
really needed no controlling party. Perhaps with time and maturity, the need to wear
the shield will fade and the young woman (note I did not say "young lady"..that is
earned) will find her own approach to the world that does not include challenging
every stranger that passes. Perhaps she'll learn that a smile is not an agreement to
be a doormat and a polite word is never a sign of weakness.
Now I do understand the philosophy of removing the power of a word by simply seeing
it as a word. This conversation has been brought to me many times. The simple fact is
this: The word "bitch" is no less powerful by branding it all over one's body, web
site, car or other aspects of one's self that represents them to the world. It is an
act of defiance, focusing far more energy than is due on that one term, telling
everyone "I OWN this word/term/name, and you cannot hurt me." So this person has
branded themselves with a term they are still proving to be derrogatory. And you know the best part? No matter how much or how often a woman or girl calls herself a
"bitch" to prove she is ok with it, when a stranger, and often a friend, refers to
them by that term, they are not giving a compliment. But they have been handed an
open door to sling the insult. Seems rather counterproductive, no? Want to remove the
power of a word? Don't use it. It will soon become quite obvious that the word is not
even necessary, or even relevant.

Doing The Right Thing

2011-05-23T22:44:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how we are pummeled daily with public service messages, advertisements and promotions to "live green", give to what seems a million different non-profit charities and volunteer? The outcome is good, people are receiving help, illnesses are being researched and potential cures are being identified and I hear the Earth is in less danger than before (if it doesn't erradicate us first). The intention, however, has made me ponder that old addage about The Road to Hell and the cobblestones with which it is paved.

I used to wonder how Hell was payment for good intentions, until I came to think it was not the "intention" to do something good, but the intention to reap some reward, often recognition, a pat on the back or bragging rights that laid the bricks and poured the mortar. I'm certainly not on a biblical tangent here, but rather choosing to take a closer look at our motivators. Corporations make huge strides in good works through monetary donations and promoting (often requiring) that their employees contribute to charity drives and participate in various volunteer activities. The IRS allows us to write off the amount we give each year both monetarily and reusable goods. I applaud all of these incentives that seem to get many people to stop and re-examine what they do with their "spare change" and belongings that have no further purpose for them. Regardless of the motivator, there is a definite means to an end.
So allow me to take this a step further.
There are many good old traditions that focus on the act and insist on anonymity so that they are True acts of charity. Labelling the act with "compliments of" will invariably imply a debt owed, and while gratitude is a wonderful thing, in my fairly jaded opinion, it belongs with gift giving and good manners, where the knowledge that an act of charity has made the intended difference should be reward enough. Many think that is a rare concept, but each year we are reminded during the holiday season when the all-too-familiar Salvation Army bell ringers resume their posts, and in spite of their diligent smiles and "Thank you" to each person who drops a few coins or folded bills in their bucket, an anonymous donor (or donors) manage to sneak a gold Krugerrand into the pot. To my knowledge, this act has remained anonymous.
I won't beat the proverbial dead horse on this topic as it seems fairly straight-forward and simple: Do the right thing because it is the Right Thing to do. Do something for another because you Can. And the next time you fill out that form to give to your favourite cause and you see that field that allows you to give anonymously, thing about how easily (or with how much difficulty) you are able to check it and send on your good act with only yourself as witness.

A Prude? Me?

2011-05-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

I was prompted to write this in response to a recent question from someone who may not know me as well as they had assumed, and that's quite fine. We all make mistakes. :)

After overhearing (eavesdropping on) an exchange with a friend of mine about this blog and my usual demeanor, I was asked "Are you really that much of a prude?" I had to ask what they meant because the assumption fascinated me. The response: "You are passing judgement on anyone who doesn't act like they're going to tea with the Queen." I smiled and after congratulating them on their knowledge of how one must behave at tea with Her Majesty, I politely responded thusly:
1. Because I had been discussing old world etiquette, modesty, demure behaviour, and ladies behaving like ladies, an assumption had been made... I had been judged as both prudish and judgemental.
2. I understood completely where their judgement came from as the topics my friend and I had been discussing tend to get one of two very noticable reactions: defensive reactions and scorn, or interest and wistful comments about "the good old days."
3. My blog is a means to offer another view of human behaviour and provide response to the growing number of people who have expressed a longing for less in-your-face behaviour.
My new acquaintance mulled it over for a moment and then slowly asked "Considering how crude, violent and obscene people are these days, why do you even try?" Simple. "People" is a scary generalization. Lumping all people into the Jersey Shore genre is giving Jersey Shore entirely too much power. I have friends and acquaintances from all walks of life: professionals (of several kinds.. don't ask), corporate types, artists, musicians, blue collar workers, burlesque and drag performers, house wives, house husbands, and courtesans. I absolutely adore the colourful people in my world. Some say I collect them. I say they tolerate me most of the time. But the simple fact is that because they are each true to themselves, no matter what that may mean, and do what they do out of passion for their craft, to be a good parent, or to be a responsible adult, I admire and respect them. It would be disrespectful of me and a lie to be other than I am. And what I am happens to enjoy a strong touch of etiquette, a low spoken tone, a demure presence and a healthy dose of humility. Never assume I do not understand, or even have a strong grasp of blunt vernacular, among other things. But everything has its time and place.
Trust me, dear reader, one does not learn to apply make up just to go to the grocer to the degree I do without having learned it from drag queen and burlesque aunts. (Incidentally, both, if done right, are brilliant forms of art) And yes, I sing. Or used to. Very little shocks me, but I will not go into my horror stories. They are irrelevant here. Suffice it to say, while I am seldom shocked, I know what I prefer. For me. Imagine my gleeful surprise each time I have crossed paths with others much of the same mind, and when the requests came in to start this blog. So here it is, offering a perspective from someone still wandering aimlessly in the days of gaslamps, chaperones, polite conversation over tea, revealing secrets only to those who deserve to know them, and saying a sincere "Thank You" when someone holds the door.
Quite honestly, I "try" because I have been asked to do what I do every day, be me, but this time, in print, online and with a bit of explanation as to why. A few friends have even suggested providing "lessons" and who knows.. one day, if it is meant to be, I may. Imagine a society of "darkling debutantes and corvid courtesans." For now I am more than content to write my bit here, work on my projects and enjoy the wonderful people around me, always looking forward to engaging conversation with the next ones I meet.
Ever,
Raven

Self-Respect

2011-05-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

Per the Oxford dictionary, self-respect is defined as a noun: pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity. It is quite literally the consistent act of treating oneself with respect. Many these days use the term "self-respect" interchangably with "self-esteem" and while the two are quite obviously connected on many levels, they are not, nor ever have been the same thing.

Self-esteem is how we come to view ourselves, through positive as well as the negative influences that touch us throughout the course of our lives and how we allow them to shape our self-image. Self-respect is the way we choose to treat ourselves, to carry ourselves and the message we send to those around us about how much we feel we are truly worth. This message is not necessarily a conscious choice. Through insecurity, many human beings have an innate ability to deceive themselves into thinking that if they proclaim their self-adoration loudly and often enough, others will believe it, agree with it, and make it easier for them to believe it, too. This is a self-esteem issue.
Self-respect is when one holds themselves to a certain level of conduct and conscience that is often higher than many around them. They do not give in to herd mentality, choosing instead to look at the person in the mirror and realize this is whose opinion truly matters at the end of the day. They find themselves surrounded by others whose conduct and outlook are very similar to their own. This comradeship comes from the knowledge that those around them are going to be honest, just as they are, and that honesty comes as necessary, and not as a means for making others appear subordinate, but rather to help to improve or simply to acknowledge accomplishments and admirable traits. Individuals who have a healthy amount of self-respect do not become "Yes men" but rather know when to disagree and when it is best to step back and let others learn for themselves.
The self-respecting indivdual does not feel the need to always be right. They find value in the times they find they are mistaken. Apologies are made, if necessary, and the lesson is appreciated. Individuals who treat themselves with respect very naturally treat others with respect, even if they do not agree with or possibly like them. It all goes back to the definition "a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity."
So why the rant about self-respect? Simple. I hear quite often from people who rant as well, who groan, roll their eyes and sigh wistfully at a society that appears to them to be losing its self-respect "en masse" in favor of being popular and, to quote one gentleman, "whoring themselves to an uncaring public for the sake of attention and a moment of false adoration." This again, is a self-esteem issue. It also often comes with a growing refusal to accept personal responsibility, to deny accountability and to seek martyrdom and feed the rampant collective victim mentality that clogs our court system and leaves younger generations without the strong role-models they often crave.
And so you may have reasoned out the primary reason for my "rant".. or as I prefer to see it, my "adamant observation".. The next generation and those to follow. I am far from a stereotypical mother figure, but I have a protective streak that extends to the young and the elderly. Being even further from the Kumbaya, love they neighbor type, I do see potential in our children, and our soon-to-be adults. Unfortunately, they have grown up with parents who were "rediscovering" themselves, befriending their children instead of being parents and competing with them in areas of self-validation and sex.
The next time you witness someone harping about how "screwed up" today's kids and young adults are, how disrespectful, misguided and "lost" they seem, keep in mind that they were not born that way. They did not suddenly spring forth, fully formed and thereby, ungrateful. Griping is not enough. It MAY recognize the problem, but indifference makes every complainer part of the problem. Setting a healthy example is part of the cure. I know there are good examples. I have heard from them. I have stood with them to tell a child "No, that is not acceptable." and sat and listened to pre-teens who are swimming in hormones and confusion, teens who are even deeper in the undercurrent and young adults who are still figure out who they are and trying to understand the demands or lack of guidance from the adults in their lives. They All have dreams. Nine times out of ten, there is a very practical, very real way to achieve those dreams. All it takes is listening, encouraging, coaching, and remaining an adult who reminds them "There will be some work involved."
Self-respect and values are learned, not just through the things we are told, but by the actions of those
who matter most in our lives. Live the self-respect you wish to see in your children, in others' children,
in many of the insecure and possibly very lost adults across whose paths you may wander.

Sincerity

2011-05-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

I felt compelled to write this piece after observing years of constant drama and listening to the frustrations, concerns, and yes, petty comments voiced by countless members of the scene who have watched their groups of close friends and confidantes dwindle down to nearly nothing.
There is a vicious cycle that begins when people find it more important to be popular than to be respected. Highschool doesn't always end in high school and friendships and relationships are on-again, off-again on a nearly weekly basis, if not more frequently. The cause is this: Many people have lost sight of the value of sincerity, giving over, instead to a passive-aggressive practice of "making nice" when it serves their purposes and throwing pouting tantrums when attention spans are minimal. I have lost count of the saccharin "Hello" and "I've missed you!" sessions, immediately followed by rants of mistrust once out of earshot.
Human nature is a funny thing. For the most part, people do not like confrontation or awkward situations, so they will take "polite" several steps too far, putting on a show of grand friendship, not realizing how transparent their insincerity is to those around them.
Many have told me "Sometimes a little white lie is important, to keep the peace." This statement is usually so far out of context that it makes me chuckle. White lies usually involve an unfortunate blemish that looks worse than let on, a hem that could stand to be a few inches lower or the fact that a bustle really doesn't make one's backside look fat ("Bustles are MEANT to accentuate the bum.") Attempting to out-act The Royal Shakespeare Company, delivering monologues of "sworn friendship" and how "gorgeous" someone looks that particular evening is out and out lying, an act of pure insincerity, and guaranteed, everyone within ear shot can see it.
This type of "making nice" only goes to create and foster a reputation as a phony, a liar, a manipulator, or as I have often heard said "A nice guy/girl... but no one I'd trust." Now there are many individuals who are known for being blunt (yours truly, included), but who also choose their situations, as well as their battles wisely. They stand by their opinions without feeling the need to force-feed them to everyone else. The old addage "Discretion is the better part of valour" is more than a pretty saying. For those who live it, they are able to maneuver their way through the sticky situations, without compromising their integrity. If pushed, they are honest, some more diplomatically than others, but in the end, no one can say they were ever dishonest. Many very openly respect the honesty and find a certain security in always knowing exactly where they stand.
Many say "I would rather be disliked and respected than liked and tolerated" but when the moment of truth comes, which direction will you go?

What is the Appeal?

2011-05-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

I am sure there are as many answers to this question as there are individuals who are drawn to Victorian Goth, either as participants/afficianados or as observers. There is a blend of the beauty, tradition and refinement of the Victorian Era that mixes beautifully with all things black (fabric, wrought iron, lace, woodwork, music).
Many outside the gothic subculture often think of the darkened streets of London, Brussels, Paris, Budapest and other ancient, worldly locales, thanks to writers such as Bram Stoker, and his wonderfully dark, mysterious and tragically-romantic anti-hero, Vlad Dracula. There are many examples of the duality of refinement with a subtly-concealed carnal side. There is an unspoken power in the type of self-knowledge it takes to portray a civilized, polite and charismatic side to the world, not having to tell anyone of the potential passion and abandon just waiting to be released.
In nearly every conversation that has been brought up to me about this topic, the key factor is that one "knows" the danger that lies beneath and they adore and respect the confidence that allows for the polite, sincere and dignified face that the rest of the world sees. It makes the "hidden" all the more valuable because it is reserved only for those "worthy" of witnessing and enjoying it.
It has also been my experience that those who are moths to the Victorian and Gothic Victorian flames are individuals with a highly creative nature, who meet the world on their terms and evoke a similar degree of civility and ease from those with whom they interact. Observe little girls who dress up for afternoon tea. Their mannerisms become more refined. The same goes for adults in any situation where particular care is taken regarding their appearance, their environment and their sense of self-respect.
In the distant past, I had the pleasure of planning midnight tea parties. Attendees were required to wear their best garden party hat (black, naturally, with all manner of jewel-toned accents) and dresses appropriate to the occasion. Many of the ladies found themselves feeling and behaving very differently, and loving it. This is much of the appeal, again as participants/afficianados, and delightedly so, for observers. Once they get past the initial looks of disbelief, fascination sets in.
Yes, this is a topic I could go on about for hours..but I wont. However, I will gladly discuss it at any time with anyone, should they wish. It seems to be one of THE most popular things to come up recently. To say I am glad would be an understatement.
If you are here, and you are taking the time to read this post, my guess (and hope) is that it resonates with you to some degree. Welcome, and let's chat.

Never Assume

2011-05-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

(This was originally posted to my main site in February 2011, but it seems to fit so well, I've included it here.)

Never Assume

That silence:

is agreement

or worse, acquiescence

is ignorance
is indifference
signifies that something is wrong
means you have won the argument...

That a smile:

can only have one meaning
is insignificant
is unwarranted
is powerless

That speaking loudly:

puts you in control
conveys confidence

or passion

makes you sound knowledgeable
creates a commanding presence
ensures that those around you are listening

That being polite:

is ever a sign of weakness
is a result of intimidation
is outdated
has no place in some situations

That respect:

is less important than being liked

or even the same as...

does not need to be earned
does not begin with Self
is conditional

Never underestimate the power of good manners, quiet contemplation, subtle strength, self-respect, humility and a demure presence. If you are going to put all your cards on the table, be prepared to have them played.

~Raven Sexton~

And so it begins...

2011-05-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

While this blog currently has no "formal" introduction, at least for now, suffice it to say, I began writing in response to a resurgence in conversations expressing a longing for more of the romantic, refined Victorian Noir side of the Gothic scene. One of the many reasons why I have always adored the scene is the wonderous variety. In a world that has become perilously homogenized, what was once considered an underground culture has seen itself be more widely introduced to the mainstream, receiving every type of reaction from wide-eyed fascination to sneers. But then this is common of any "subculture" that stands out in any way from the safely-play "norms" of society.
But I digress. This particular blog is not about the trials and tribulations of the overall Dark Culture. I will save most of that for my primary site (StoneAngelsGaze.com) and will, over time address many things there. At times the topics here may well touch on much of the same as it affects my own black lacey corner of the culture.
In response to many requests (including some from a few of my "fairy gothchildren"), I will attempt to document the outcomes of many conversations about the many aspects of the Victorian Gothic Aesthetic from clothing and mindset to etiquette with possible write-ups about the many vendors, performers and events that showcase this part of Gothic culture.
I hope you enjoy the site, and I look forward to any and all comments and hope to eventually feature contributing writers.